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My body, my eyes, my hands..
all beg equally for sin and more so for forgiveness.
With each second glance... i wince, but long for more.
In every touch lies disgust and rapture.
I fear, the tear in the center of me... is threatening to rip me apart.

When I sleep, when im not alone, wrapped up in some stranger...
My dreams destroy me... my dreams of being a man.
All of that ambition to be something worth holding fast to.
It all trickles away... dripping down my body,
chilling me to sweat.

When I wake, entangled in some sort of hazy night before,
I never know if its nausea, or butterflies.
My body is powerless, weak and shameless.
A lack of honor surrounds me. engulfs me at the heart.
Changes me to another fiend.

Unwillingly i pray...
i beg for amnesty, something to take me away from chaos.
But this feeling... this warm acceptance, as much as it destroys my light..
I've never been more fulfilled. I've never been closer to the bottom.
and lover, each time i slip closer, it looks even more beautiful.

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The following comments are for "black and white"

DemonEyes Black and White
I wish that you’d keep on writing, because I read your kind of stuff. I know the feeling here, slipping in and out of one phase as either ‘black’ or ‘white’, not merely being torn between but being totally one of either the two, at a time. Believing to be totally good at one time, and at another time totally bad.

I loved the last lines : I've never been closer to the bottom./and lover, each time I slip closer, it looks even more beautiful. I have my own image of it, a man on his belly, wallowing on the floor - not of a house but on the floor of darkness, of a pit loving it as if embracing its vastness.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: December 8, 2006 )

Very brave
first, and the hardest part, to be willing to recognize and contend with such inward dynamics and then, of course, to find enough beauty in all of it to deem it worthy of expression.


( Posted by: Tamir [Member] On: December 8, 2006 )

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