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Has anyone here seen Grandma?
We've been searching high and low
It's time she joined the Seniors Home
But she doesn't want to go
She packed up all her make-up
Paid her Botox bill in full
Her kids think she should act her age
(Grandma thinks that's bull!)

Her Hair Salon is worried
Her dye job is almost due
She comes like clockwork every week
They'll miss the revenue
The old age club is miffed
She never joins the group
And tries to lure the rest of them
To come and fly the coop!

Last week she went dancing
And partied all night long
Then someone handed her a mike
And she sang a bawdy song
Please help us to find Grandma
She's getting much too bold
She decided she's too young for us
And refuses to grow old!

Grandma Bea

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The following comments are for "Has Anyone Here Seen Grandma?"
by Beatrice Boyle

This is delightful...sounds something like me...minus the botox...and hair color...I like to change my hair color so often , I just buy wigs...When I go dancing...I always take Arthur Itis with me ...Ben Gay , Ace Bandage, and a few others are standing in line awaiting their turn...
I told my kids my next birthday , I'm going to start going backwards...soon they will be older than me...Horay for Grandmas...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

desperately seeking Grandma
I've got a feeling Grandma will send a postcard when she's good and ready... probably from somewhere with a hectic night-life... Youth, a senior friend of mine used to say, is wasted on the young... But not on Grandma, by the looks of things, seems she's old enough and wise enough to grab it by both hands and enjoy it. Great stuff.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

Has Anyone Seen Grandma
I love this. Thanks

( Posted by: wanda [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

Only The Good Die Young
This was very amusing. It reminded me of my granmother, running away and stealing the keys from my mother to drive across the country. Thank you for the memories.

( Posted by: BAAL [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

Grandma gone wild!
Kacee...keep on truckin' Grandma!

Shannon...Grandma won't send postcards...too easy to trace!

Glad you enjoyed it Wanda.

Baal...Would have loved to have known your Grandma...sounds like my kina gal!

Thanks for commenting guys!


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

This is adorable! Anyone can relate to this, because we all go through stages. I love gutsy grandmas and my generation believe in nursing homes. If more time was spent with the elderly, they wouldn't give up on themselves and feel that no one needs them when they get elderly. My great-grandma lived with all of us and she was never a problem, only a blessing. She was the backbone of our family. I spent many wonderful years listening to our family heritage. You go grandma! I LOVED IT! PaulaAnne

( Posted by: PaulaAnne [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

Grandma's Still Truck'in
Thanks PaulaAnn...If you are interested in learning about life in Grandma's time...check out my memoirs in the feature column titled "CHILDHOOD VIGNETTES" It's about life before ww2 up to my high school years. Will post chapter 2 (during and after the war) later.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

Grandma, MIA
Got a kick out of this one. Refreshing and (though I hate to use this word, it fits here in a good way) cute. I like the tone it's written in, like a sighing, worried, slightly exasperated pre-adolescent half fretting, half grumbling about her crazy old gram.

Well done!

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

Wiley Ole Grandma!
Thanks China...but Gram's not as crazy as you think...her marbles are all intact, thank you very's the rest of the world that out of sync!

Thanks for commenting.


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: November 30, 2006 )

Granny's soapbox
Hey Eric...happy to hear from you.

As for my being a young chick instead of an old hen,'re partly right...I'm the most advanced case of arrested development you'll ever meet!

It boggles my mind to read an obituary of someone my age and think, oh's to be expected at that age, then it suddenly dawns on me...HELL...THEY'RE YOUNGER THAT I AM!!!!

I have no conciousness of being my age at all...still dress the way I did 30 yrs ago (with adjustments for the change in fashion)...still spend a fortune on my hair and makep-up (never go out of the house without it) and proud to say, people never believe me when I tell them how old I am. However, since my recent illness, I've noticed a few more lines that were never there before and my sexy high heels lanquish on the closet shelf since my knee replacement two years ago. I was trained for the theatre (opera) and have been taking care of my self since my teens. (Appearance is 50% of a professional career.)

Having said all that...none of it means a's attitude toward life that keeps you young and interesting. The world really doesn't revolve around YOU...Being interested in the world around you...lending a helping hand where warranted...being a good friend...having a loving family around you...THESE are what are important in life. When you are too busy being involved with the what's going on in the world, you don't notice you are gowing older and age doesn't mean a thing to those who love you. You can be OLD in your forties and fifties if you allow yourself to be.

Now I'll get off my soapbox and get back to being busy and involved, so the grim reaper can't catch up with me.


Having said all that...

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: December 1, 2006 )

please allow me
to join the long list of folks who have already complimented your poem. you most certainly have a way with words.



( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: December 2, 2006 )

Thanks John John
for your kind comments.

Granny is a tough old bird...she refuses to be caged.


( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: December 2, 2006 )

Here's to Granny
I don't think anyone has any good sense until about age 65. Then you're old enough to not care and really mean it.

Good poem, makes us all chuckle but with a hint of realism in the background.


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: December 3, 2006 )

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