Bluebloods
by AuldMiseryGuts (Member) - published: November 26, 2006
Word Count: 469 Word Bytes: 3782 Viewed: 1872 times
Category - The Write Off
© Copyright by AuldMiseryGuts

8.86

(22 votes)

Rating	Rated by

10	ArsPoet2789ica

10	BAAL

9	Beatrice Boyle

10	BWOz

7	DrKilldare

7	follylolly

10	IcicleIcicle

10	innarae

2	jesuschriss

9	johnjohndoe

8	Kenneth

10	Myth

10	Nitz Kitty

10	PETERPAULINO

9	rcallaci

9	Siah

8	Thea Veol

10	ttdavis

10	Viper9

10	wanda

9	williamhill

8	windchime

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Upstarts
Interlopers
Nuevo riche

This is our house

Up to our eyeballs in heirlooms
We drift,
Gilded to the gills
Through groaning ballrooms grown fat with silver

We have inherited to the hilt
Unfeasible fortunes,
We wager our weight in gold
Against our worth
At cards

And wearing
Big dewberry rubies
The colour of Cane
We eat dust
From empty plates

With white hands of porcelain pedigree
Sip from cracked ceramics while
The thoroughbred throat of Maria Callas
And the rasping larynx of
Edith Piaf
Are buried alive inside
The Vitrola

The carriage clocks insisting midnight
In close accompaniment
Forever

This is our house

Our watches stopped on silver fobs
Record the mementos
Of personal meantime
As surely as magnetic tape
Or Parish register

This is our house

Where we smile through show groomed soirées
In period dress
As beetles as diligent as hired help
Go about the business of decay
Our bones are broken below stairs
Our blood iced
To gazpacho temperatures
Behind scenes

Our horses do not sweat
Nor our gentlemen perspire,
It has been centuries since
Our ladies glistened
We are as cool as the untouched tumblers
Of margaritas
And like the picnic tequila
Pickled worms intrepidly thread our navels

But this is still our house

You come to us in a season
Sumptuous with rot
Bluebottle flies are blooming
In to brilliant rococo broaches
And cerulean corsages of
Iridescent light,
We shimmer
Our skin now fine and gauzy
As Italian evening wear

While we lie buried dark and sweet
And as expensive as Belgium truffles

You come to gatecrash,
Classless and crass
Posterity’s private party
To trespass and traipse
And leave footprints in
Our hallowed halls
While we’re reduced
To spying, hissing worming with
The asbestos
Through the bedroom walls

We, whose caskets overflow
Like coffers with our millions
Must waft and whistle and wail
Upset the cut class crystal
Startle cats and chill
The spines
Of women who can’t tell
A Burgundy from a Bordeaux

We must shake the chandeliers
And pull the threads from tasteless tapestries
Blend bloody handprints with the weave
Of Egyptian cotton sheets

Our haunting is
A comedy of manners

But this
Is still our house

Lest you forget
We are the dead of the very best
Vintage
And it is our snide tongues which
Brush your eardrum like cold steal
At night

Our piano players’ fingers
Rat-a-tat-tatting against
The blackened sash
Of the nursery windows

Our titled tittle-tattle
That whispers through the chimney

Our formally dressed feet
Materialising
To trip you
From the top of the grand staircase
And send you sprawling like
Lost luggage
In to the seashell shaped foyer

Though we are gone
This is still our house

Upstarts
Interlopers
Nuevo riche

And you’d do as well to remember that
And leave before
It’s too late

------
The human race, the only race I know where everybody loses.

Comments

The following comments are for "Bluebloods"
by AuldMiseryGuts

Bluebloods
I've read a few of your poems and have enjoyed them all. There seems to be something however that draws me to the darker imagery within BAAL's poetry. This is a great poem and it is fun to read, although it didn't shake me to the core as the imagery in BAAL's did.

( Posted by: Kenneth [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

The Pallor Behind the Posh
The first thing I thought of when I read this poem was the classic novel "The Great Gatsby". I myself live in a gated community full of people with more money than they know what to do with, some with more money than sense and/or more money than character, so I have seen first-hand the dark stories that are hidden behind the illusion of opulence. My family isn't one of the ones that is too rich for life itself, so I guess that is what allows me to see beyond the facade of money and mansions. I'm guessing that you're in a similar situation to my own. I can relate well to this poem, and we poets tend in general to write about what we are closest to.

-ArsPoet2789ica

( Posted by: ArsPoet2789ica [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Bluebloods
Shannon
another one well done.

( Posted by: wanda [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Autopsy Table
I envy your style. You have the cool and calculated touch of autopsy lacerations. I, on the other hand, can't do that. For me it's like stifling an orgasm. Great job!

( Posted by: BAAL [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Boodlines
Oh those of fortune a nightmare to deal with most of the time. I really liked the play on words the flow was terriffic.

( Posted by: follylolly [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Another clever piece
I think your writing is very clever. I think that the ability to express oneself through descriptive and comparative meaning is a scarce art. The ability to weave a story or image out of colorful subtlety is a fine craft.

This is a good work. Even though the image I see is Old Victorian, it reminds me of the state of the very wealthy today.

( Posted by: ttdavis [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Blue blood ghosts
The ghosties of he rich and famous...still wanting to hold on to what was theirs...and they don't share...I love it...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Good scenery
I scored you a notch higher as you held the line a little better all the way through. Both very good pieces of writing, intriguing, astonishing in places, thought provoking.

While I couldn't imagine what lines would come next, at the same time I sensed the finale -- not that it was cliche or predictable, just very well thought and written.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Also interesting
I read BAAL his piece and found myself taken aback with the colliding imagery. But this, the sequenced thought and the miasma of orgied pictures, takes the cake. Thanks for posting.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: November 27, 2006 )

Disturbing the bluebloods!
Shannon, this is mesmerizing! I more than most of you can relate to the mores` of the departed souls of a long gone era...when the right fork at dinner was a birthright!

I've often wondered how the elite of yesteryear would react to the "anything goes" climate we have today. It's enough to turn their blueblood
red!

My favorite line was "sumptious rot!" Excellent writing.

( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

Bluebloods
Thanks for a breath of fresh air. Our U.S. gov't officials are replete with the overpriveleged. The are so out of touch with the common man that they cannot use an ATM or wash their own windshields or any of the other everyday stuff we regular people do as a matter of course. Thanks for the beauty of description of a sad state of being. I am grateful that I am to cursed with more material things than I can deal with. I prefer real people, music, books and quieter ways to be alive. Stephanie

( Posted by: EchoMarm [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

write-off AMG
Gave the higher score to BAAL. Have resolved never to give a 10 in write-offs, BTW.

This poem, while good on its own, doesn`t push the envelope of language and imagery to the extent BAAL`s does.

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

Write Off Shannon
I'd have scored both with 10, but that would take away the fun, so I forced myself to decide which one to choose, and because I love horror, I thought I could just go for the horror that I prefer more: I like the ones (horror/fear) that come from within and spread like venom to numb every part of my body, and yours did; it's quiet, quaint and inwardly shocking - something that I believe is even more fatal! So you are getting a ten from me, and Baal is getting a 9.49 that when I round off is 9.

( Posted by: PETERPAULINO [Member] On: November 28, 2006 )

OK?
While you have a talent for pretty description, most of them didn't have any meaning. Maybe I just went through it too fast, but it seemed the whole idea of the poem was a cliche'. But, like I said, I like the way you describe things. As. . . as . . .as should go

( Posted by: jesuschriss [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

sweet Jesus
Everyone whoes commented and rated so far: thank you. your comments and high ratings are much appreciated. though personally, I still prefer BAAL's- like Lucie said, it's all about pushing the envelope.

But jesuschriss, 'course it's your oppinion, and your vote, to do with what you will, but if you're going to give me such an abysmal rating (deserved or not) I'd be obliged if you'd comment and let me know why. so... make with the constructive crit... please. For one it'll help me improve. for another it's only polite, and quite apart from anything else, I think it's kind of the Write Off rules.

To all, in auld country at the moment, but I'll reply to comments properly when I return. Peace all.

Shannon.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

'kay so
ignore that, missed your comment. sorry.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

Ghosts of the Gentry
Not sure where the cliches are supposed to be in this poem.

How are we to tell when the bluebloods are dead? Do they complain even louder?

Creepy and funny, too. Loved it!

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

blood
Shannon

Your poem is deliciously decadent. You are a poet of high caliber and write with a sophistication of a seasoned writer. To rate your poem lower than your competition seems an injustice as the quality and tone of this piece is outstandingly eerie. Your imagery was understated which is what this poem called for but I prefer the overstated in your face over the top imagery of your opponent mainly because I tend to write in overbroad strokes as well. You both deserve 10 ’s but competition is a bitch and Baal is such a devilishly cool name. Excellent work

My warmest
bob

( Posted by: rcallaci [Moderator] On: November 29, 2006 )

whoa
I love this. It is so fitting (no pun intended)for the state of affairs in time past and present. Your figurative language is so steeply connected to reality that I am almost beside myself with "Yes...this author is soooo right"...as I ask myself the philosopical question "does a candle lose it's light by lighting another?".

Apparently, for the old money-heads, it does. But thankfully for you, it doesn't. Since you are here sharing your gift with the world.

Thank you!

( Posted by: innarae [Member] On: November 29, 2006 )

An Important Piece Indeed
From several aspects the poem has it's multi-dimentioal genius. The content may vary in some points, but it has an outstanding communication in its loud poetic diction, too tough to resist reading once and again. Indeed, it is an important piece to read. Till last "we drift".

Myth.

( Posted by: Myth [Member] On: December 1, 2006 )

The Write Off is Over!
Though everyone is still welcome to read and comment and rate, the contest of champions has now come to an end.

And our winner is AULDMISERYGUTS -- by the closest of all margins: 0.01 points! Well-done, AMG!

Let's congratulate both of our competitors for taking part and producing such quality work. I loved 'em both.

One of the things I find most interesting about the write off is seeing how people take the same prompt and do completely different things with it. In this case, Baal and AMG were asked to write a horror poem based on the prompt, "Belonging". That's it. And look what happened!

Can't wait to do this again.

Once more, congratulations AMG and much thanks to both of you for your great work, and to everyone else for rating and commenting.

( Posted by: viper9 [Moderator] On: December 2, 2006 )

Congratulations
I am happy you won, I didn't even think it would be so close. I tend to hit sore spots, so I figured I would've been in the negatives. I would have been happy if I had made it that far.
It was fun, I enjoyed the interesting comments for both of us. I even enjoyed the hysterical comments, like ArsPoet2789ica calling me a "conformist".
I have to tell you when viper9 said I would be up against you I thought to myself, "oh shit." I've always loved your writing. I knew that in the horroresque style you were one of the few that had something on me.
Once again, congratulations, the best man one. I look forward to more writings from you.

Blesse Be,
Barrett

( Posted by: BAAL [Member] On: December 2, 2006 )

many thanks to many people
What I SHOULD do is go through and thank everyone individually, personally, by name... but I'm tired, so what I WILL do is cop out and compromise... so:

To all who read and rated, generously and honestly, thank you very much. glad so many read and found something they liked in this piece. Where I'm scored a notch lower I understand why, there's no shame in coming second to the Sadeian stylings of BAAL. ;) where I'm scored a notch higher, I don't deserve it but thank you anyway.

To all who commented, thanks all for taking that bit of extra time to share your impressions of the piece, I'm glad people picked up on so much of what influenced this, (and on the slyly, wryly smiling humour that informed it) there's stately homes, society novels, Asian cinema (had been watching Hideo Nakata's original Ringu, amongst others) a frustration with over-privilege in all its forms... and a million other things too, probably some I don't even know about.

Feel I should point out, this isn't my world, or anywhere even remotely close, (though my grandparents always claimed noble ancestry) spent a large part of my life in pretty dire poverty, lived in squats and tents and vans and trees... but that's probably another poem... I just always found folks with more money than sense fascinating. They used to make me angry, but having met a few now they have my pity... which would probably infuriate them beyond all reason if they knew ;)

So thanks again, you’re all too kind. Looking forward to the next Write-Off already.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: December 3, 2006 )

Bluebloods
I lovvvve it. that's all there is to it. Caculated cruel but true.

( Posted by: thesadpoet [Member] On: December 3, 2006 )

thesadpoet
thaaaank you ;) very glad you likeed it.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: December 3, 2006 )

Blue blood (again)
I see the writeoff is over but must say I really liked the poem; or the way you managed to say something concrete, but vague, real-life, but poetic. Class is invisible to the untrained eye, and basically it's not about money(in the first place). Got to ask if you're familiar with the writings of Pierre Bourdieu? If not, you'd find something extremely interesting there.

( Posted by: DrKilldare [Member] On: December 3, 2006 )

Pierre Bourdieu
Thank you good doctor, for both your comment and the generous rating. Pierre Bourdieu proves fascinating, much appreciate the recommendation.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: December 5, 2006 )

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