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It's hard not to marvel at the wonder of Dr. Pepper. Ah... here it is. A 36 ounce cup of bubbly, black bliss. I like Dr. Pepper cause it's fiery, raw and black like me.

And then I've got a fat, juicy giant steak. Yeah, I'm dousing it in steak sauce.

Yeah, cracker, that's right. Hurry up with those fries.

Now, to whoever's listening to this tape, some people would tell you a meal like this isn't good for you. But it's so delicious. And I tell you, someone in my situation lives every day for it's own sake.

(chew, chew, smack, smack)

But, heck, I'm a wise man. I always lived like this. I always ate the giant, bloody steak. I always drank the Doctor Pepper. And when somebody crossed me, I let 'em have it.

Back then, I was a truck driver for Dr. Pepper. I was a good truck driver. I mean, yeah, half my truck was always full of drugs. But they paid better than the Dr. Pepper.

(loud repeated belching)

And when those two pigs pulled me over and searched my truck, I let 'em have it. I just did what I felt. I kept it real.

I know the reporters say it was bad how I left them screaming to dissolve in a giant vat of Dr. Pepper. But they interfered with my right to conduct business.

And I tell you, dying's not so bad. I've done a million wicked things in my life. And the only thing I regret is that I couldn't live to do a million more. Oh, what a steak. Bloody like I told em.

Another steak please, pig.

Tommorow, when they shave my hair and have me all ready to barbecue, they're gonna ask me for my last words and I'm just gonna say, "Keep it real. Dr. Pepper."







Comments

The following comments are for "Dr. Pepper"
by Seanspacey

Pretty Cool
I have to admit, you nearly lost me with the first few paragraphs. Still, I hung in there and I'm glad I did. Though this is a short piece, I like the way the character develops from an every man to a psychotic and the bloody steak was a nice touch.

Cool story. It was short, sweet and easy to digest and yes, a little horrific.

Richard

( Posted by: Richard Dani [Member] On: December 7, 2002 )

thanks for comments
Thanks for the feed-back, guys. I'm really proud of the story. The punctuation is wrong, though.

I got my whole idea for the story when I read a news article about a man who was eating his last meal, before he was to be executed. And he ordered a Dr. Pepper and a hamburger.

Anyway, it is what it is. Peace out.

( Posted by: Seanspacey [Member] On: December 9, 2002 )

Heh!
Seanspacey,

This story was very interesting, the monologue made it even more so for me. I am a Criminal Justice major, and this just made me smile. Plus thanks to you I will never look at a can of Dr.Pepper the same way again.

Later,
Dras

( Posted by: Drastine [Member] On: December 11, 2002 )

The Dr. is in...
Great pace, messed up theme. All in all, I liked this.

( Posted by: JM Heluk [Member] On: December 12, 2002 )

dissolve?
Can you really dissolve in a Dr Pepper?
I thought maybe washing up liquid might, after awhile.
Anyhow. Nicely written.

( Posted by: albie [Member] On: August 5, 2003 )





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