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_The Mayonaise Principle_

Have you ever left mayonaise
to rot on a plate?

Have you ever left a plate
to rot in a sink?

Have you ever left a kitchen
to rot in a house?

Or a house in a street?
Or a street in a neighbourhood?

Have you ever left
a neighbourhood to rot?

Spudley Strikes Again

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The following comments are for "The Mayonaise Principle"
by Spudley


It's a nice concept, Spudley, and I did like the poem...But, it's a little gross...

Ps. No offence taken by the cliche thing. I think you're right. I didn't wrk very hard on that particular one, it took me about five minutes to write...:|
(Will try to do better next time...*Goes to back of class*)

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: November 25, 2002 )


Interesting, to say the least and I am sad that I ate before I read it...and the omelette tasted so good going down. The last bit about the neighborhood to rot was my favorite part by the way...the build up is what made it so great though. Keep writing and I will keep reading it.


( Posted by: Drastine [Member] On: November 25, 2002 )

Re Ewwww!
hehe. Yep, definitely "Ewwww!". I was trying for something a little different. In fact, until I read the comments here, I actually thought I hadn't gone far enough with the gross effect... but it looks like it worked after all.
Jasmine - thanks for not being offended by my last comment. :) I thought hard before posting it, in case you might take it badly, but I figured you've written enough to take a bit of flak every now and then.
Dras - Absolutely I'll keep writing! There's something addictive about writing. One day, I might even find enough time to write some longer fiction for you too.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: November 25, 2002 )

I hate to point this out

This is really cool (and I'm not just saying that because you said something nice about my poem), but you misspelled mayonnaise -- see, two n's. Sorry, but that leapt out at me immediately. Anyway, it's nice to see someone else who has moved away from the tyranny of rhyming -- I'm inherently suspicious of any rhyming poem that's more recent than WWII. It just seems so old-fashioned nowadays (not to mention needlessly limiting). Up with free verse!

( Posted by: AK-47 [Member] On: November 27, 2002 )

Re: I hate to point this out
Thanks for pointing that out. I hadn't noticed. It seems to be traditional for me to make at least one spilling mastike per entry here. :-)

I originally write this poem about Salad Cream rather than mayon[n]aise, but at the last minute I decided that the latter would sound better. (they're much the same stuff really, but the word 'mayonnaise' just sounds so much better)

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: November 28, 2002 )

it's not something i would write but you did it justice. often do you eat mayonnaise?..... just a thought!
well done.

( Posted by: man eating maniac [Member] On: December 2, 2002 )

I hate mayonasie
Very odd poetry. Strange subject matter; very few lines but somehow disturbingly descriptive. I just hate mayonaise...

( Posted by: JM Heluk [Member] On: January 27, 2003 )

Mayo Mayo can I borrow some mayo? Ship it.
Diffrent but intresting spudley.:)

( Posted by: lovesessence [Member] On: August 10, 2003 )

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