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Author's Note: Just like the other two poems A Toothpaste Model's Poem and Pusong Kalsada, this poem is also a collaborative work done by three friends: Peter Paulino, the writer of its Tagalog version; Teresita Lauron, the official Lucie-Peter Tagalog-English translator; and Lucie Adams, the celebrated Linguist Poet of Lit.Org.


How About

How about you wake up early one morning
and you still love him?
Will you wait for heartthrob that morning
and will he still be the one?
And how about
if he wakes up too, on the other side,
heart astir?
Will he keep your company
all day long?
And what if your love is thrown out?

How about asleep at night,
memory of him still with you,
will you wait for the dream he haunts?
How about if he sleeps too,
on the other side,
heart rested,
will he be with you all night?
And what if your love for him is left in darkness?

If you ask me,
asleep or awake,
I will still love you.
Days, I look for you before any other.
Nights, I dream,
the memory of your arms, my only embrace

the warmth of your breast my only pillow.

-----------------------------------------------------

Paano

Paano kung gumising ka sa madaling araw
at siya pa rin ang mahal mo?
Hihintayin mo ba ang umagang siya pa rin
ang ititibok ng puso mo?
Paano kung sa kabilang dako’y
gumising din siya,
na pati ang puso’y namulat na?
Samahan ka pa kaya niya buong maghapon,
paano kung pag-ibig mo kaniya nang itapon?

Paano kung matulog ka sa gabi
at siya pa rin ang huling ala-ala?
Hihintayin mo ba ang panaginip
na siya pa rin ang nilalaman?
Paano kung sa kabilang dako’y
pumikit na rin siya,
na pati ang puso’y humimlay na?
Samahan ka pa kaya niya buong magdamag,
paano kung pag-ibig mo
kaniya nang iwan sa karimlan?

Kung ako ang tatanungin,
matulog man o gumising
kita’y iibigin.
Sa araw pinakaunang hahanapin,
sa hating-gabi papangarapin.
Magpapayapos sa ala-ala ng ‘yong bisig,
iuunan init ng ‘yong dibdib.


*Lucie and Teri, thanks a lot for this!



------
*************************************
crystal face I kiss
tongue tastes like sweet cold rain
I fall into pond




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Comments

The following comments are for "How About"
by PETERPAULINO

Correction, A ga i n
Author's Note: Just like the other two poems A Toothpaste Model's Poem and Pusong Kalsada, this poem is also a collaborative work done by three friends: Peter Paulino, the writer of its Tagalog version; Teresita Lauron, the official Lucie-Peter Tagalog-English translator; and Lucie Adams, the celebrated Linguist Poet of Lit.Org who wrote and finalized the English version.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: September 26, 2006 )

Hopeless Romantic
I love your breathlessly hopelessly romantic poetry, Peter! It's always such a pleasure to read. I hope you read this aloud to whoever inspired it.

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: September 26, 2006 )

How About
I too live reading your poems it has such beauty and grace. Thanks for posting

( Posted by: wanda [Member] On: September 26, 2006 )

Viper and Wanda
I am always and will always be a hopeless romantic hehe! Thank you for reading. :-)

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: September 26, 2006 )

FatesFury
::sighing here as well:: because it's almost twelve and I am sleepy... Thank you FatesFury... :-)

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: September 26, 2006 )

How About
agree with all of the above. in a world in which there seems at times precious little beautym your words are a welcome respite. and an important reminder. a sighing, smiling loving, lovely read.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: September 26, 2006 )

Dreaming Hearts
Peter- Mine is smiling.

Peaceful dreams,
Robert William

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: September 26, 2006 )

poetry translation
the poetry translation to english is poor and the essence and the emotions of the tagalog version vanished... i like the tegalog version better. the english version should be re-written and edited to match the feelings evoked by the tagalog version.

( Posted by: dylanfair [Member] On: October 14, 2006 )

Poetry Translation
Dylan, thank you very much for commenting on this, I appreciate your effort in taking the time to read and write and email to me a(nother) version of this in English.

From the bathroom, taking my usually elaborate shower at early night, I rushed to go back to this and write a reply to your comment, it's been more than 24 hours since I saw it and there was that alarm in my head that I should right away go back and answer you.

In your PM to me, I forthrightly answered 'I beg to disagree' because Lucie Adams' version for me is the best and no other version could anymore match it. But I allowed you to email me still your own version, because I thought, yes, why not, your first language is Tagalog just like me, and you might have a better grasp of the language than someone who's first language is not Tagalog. Then you emailed me your version.

Dylan, I am sorry to say that I still beg to disagree. Before you emailed me your version, my only basis for disagreeing was that:

A. Lucie Adams is a published poet
B. She writes better English than the two of us
C. She's studied languages (that I could call her a linguist) and from what I remember had a diploma on it.

Now, the reasons above which I thought were somewhat biased anyway, were superseded by the reasons below, as supported by my comments on your version:

A.What if and How about – it isn’t How If, yes, How if would have sounded silly. ‘What if’ is ‘ano kaya’ in Tagalog, and so, ‘How about’ becomes better to use, because ‘how’ is ‘paano’.

B.Dawning morn – for me sounds redundant. As ‘Dawning’ can be a noun too, and ‘morn’ being very much a noun is also often spoken as ‘morning’, so ‘dawning morning’ wouldn’t have sounded okay. Dawn, morn… they’re just one kind for me.

C. Your version’s
What if in the meanwhile he awakes
and his heart is awakened

the problem with the two ‘awakes’ above, Lucie already remedied by using the word ‘astir’ which I think is even more poetic

D.Thrown out or shed away – the rule was for Lucie not to go astray from the voice that I used, so we chose ‘thrown out’.

E. Dream full of him or Dream he haunts – ‘dream he haunts’ stings better, then I could think of ‘dreamful of him’

F. If you ask me or If I were asked – the verb tense of the latter doesn’t fit in, even as it were to follow ‘What if’. The former follows the pattern of ‘How About’.

G. Asleep or awake OR In slumber or in rising – it was my fault, I used the shallower words ‘matulog man o gumising’ not ‘ mahimbing man o magbangon’ that are a deeper Tagalog counterparts. ‘Slumber and rising would have been more highfalutin for the original.

However, dear friend, Dylan, I could pick up some of your line and idea, and integrate them with what Lucie came up with, like:

A. He is your last rememberance (I know the correct word is remembrance, but rememberance is unique that I liked it.
B. The use of ‘heart’ instead of ‘breast’ (though still I’m unsure of it, because the allusion of the word ‘breast’ helped me get away from the overused ‘heart’s’.

Dylan, I hope you understand that this is my opinion, and yours is still yours. I am happy that you liked the Tagalog though.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: October 15, 2006 )

and one more thing
Lucie and I have been friends for more or less three years (though it always seemed four to me) and she knows all my secrets, and had been reading my poetry all along... that I thought she knows better how my poetic voice has always been... that she could write a poem and make it sound like I did it (this is just an exaggeration) and besides, Paano is already the third collaboration that we did.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: October 15, 2006 )





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