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you were the one who gave meaning to my life...
but now you're the one who's tearing it apart...
You were always there each and every day
but now you seem so far away...


you broke my heart...
and made my life very dark
like killing me softly as if ur blind...
you can see im hurting but still you didnt mind...


you went with her and just left me behind
alone in my room what i can do is just to cry
i cried for a week and after that i stopped
my heart is still crying coz we’ve drifted apart...


its hard to forget you
coz of the love that felt so true...
but that's true only for me
even if I know that we can never be


now im controlling my heart
to keep myself from hurtin too much
cant forget coz u left a mark
that i can remember with ur each and every touch


i cant be so good in making this poem
that i even hope someday it could be a song
but somehow it tells whats in my heart
and express how i feel like how im falling apart...


------
u always hurt me, u always make me cry...
u turn my days into nights and shift into darkness the remaining light...
yesterday u just made my spirit so high...
but now u caused me to breakdown and cry...


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Comments

The following comments are for "leaving me behind"
by adiktus

leaving
When someone is hurting and it caused by someone
else espically its someobe we love its hurts the worse.We go on and we learn and sometimes
we are richer for loving. thanks for posting

( Posted by: wanda [Member] On: September 20, 2006 )

Wrecked heart
I read your bio and you mentioned your method is mostly about writing of the wrecked heart. Yeah, I had one once too, long time ago and the therapy of writing will get you through it eventually.

After reading four of your poems, I see a pattern that you write from the internal; your feelings, how you've felt, the hurt that exists in rejection.

My advice for you at this point is keep writing, but start using simple exercises like:

1. Try to remove all of the firt person "I" statements, mostly by shortening them.
Ex: "alone in my room what i can do is just to cry / i cried for a week and after that i stopped"

Break it down to the simplest element:

"Alone I cried for a week"

You still have the first person "I", but now you can see how to share that idea with the reader, remove the "I" and make it so that the reader was there with you for a week.

"Solitary tears flooded my world; did you cry for a solid week? did you cry?"

now, the same idea is external, it is something that many can share and say "Hell yeah, I cried for a week one day" or something like that.

And rather than "You broke my heart"....

That puts the idea right out in front, but it flies by too quickly for the reader to feel that broken heart. Maybe something like...

"You sqeezed my heart 'til my mind went numb
and made me blind to the pain
and all was dark, a dim narrow hall
where dripping echoes fill my ears"

I am exagerating a little on purpose to illustrate how you can put a vivid image of what that broken heart was like -- lets the reader join you in that hall -- we've all heard dripping echoes, really creepy, right?

Anyway,
Keep writing, you've got the emotional connection, now use broad strokes and vivid colors (words) to allow the reader the shared vision of your wrecked heart.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: September 21, 2006 )





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