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Sticky, slimy, muddy


Wilting in the sun.

Draining the night

Withering into day.

Patching stars

Bleeding mushrooms.

Morning twilight in a shroom field.

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The following comments are for "Wilted"

"Withering into day." was my favourite line, if only because it reminds me of misspent summer nights past and the come-down of the rising heat of a coming morning. The title's similarly suggestive. The rest... didn't strike me as much as some of your others have, but this one's kind of tactile, which is interesting, seems more about sensation than observation. Think I'll have to come back to it. Interesting though.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: September 12, 2006 )

Tactile indeed
I agree with AMG. I liked this as an experiment in tactile poetry. Is this drawn from experience? ;)

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: September 12, 2006 )

of course it is drawn from personal experience, viper. due to the scheme of things i couldn't put all the details in: the giant banana spiders hanging from the old oaks, the alligators that crawl out of the swamps to watch the cattle, angry redneck farmers chasing you off their land with shotguns, and the leaches you suffer through in the bayou while swimming to the shroom field.
but, i believe i captured some of the feeling.
thank ya'll.

( Posted by: BAAL [Member] On: September 13, 2006 )

I do believe you captured some of the feeling but would love to hear it with all the other parts of the puzzle. You speak in riddles alot of the time and I love putting the pieces together. Write on.


( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: September 13, 2006 )

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