Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Every girl has a simple world,
But every man with a plan
Just can't stand to notice
A pearl within each girl,
And I can only try to show this.

Nothing is more brilliant
Than the diamond you possess,
Gleaming with such sheen
That gives all who have seen
A notion that people shine too…more or less

There’s no rock in earthy ground
More worthy for a princess
As you proclaim yourself
Invaluable, in fact, priceless
And with you I am found.

I see you try so hard
To disregard how you feel
Regarding to how hard you are
Trying to be so real
And hard feeling…as a gem…she has them.

------
Adam J. Dutcher

I am...


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "She Has Gems"
by AdFunk

Love the title
But i feel the poem needs some more revising. maybe the verses should be rearranged?
Don't take this as a diss to your skills, I'm just wondering if the poem would have more oomph if you changed a few words. If you want you can PM me this poem and I'll show you how I'd change it.
Anyway, keep writing.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: September 11, 2006 )

I did that for a reason
I actually flipped the 3rd and the 2nd stanzas as it is now, originally, I had them reversed, I did this to see how it would read then, although, now I'm looking at it over and over again this way, I will definitely retreat back to the source with it

( Posted by: AdFunk [Member] On: September 12, 2006 )

Definitely
..switch it back around. Didn't settle so well on the first read, but on the second-go'round, switching those stanzas, it was much more pleasant to follow.

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: September 12, 2006 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: