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as I was fixing my makeup
in the eyes of the boy
it occured to me
that my father had been messiah
and I never managed
to take that weight off his shoulders

------
Stille


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The following comments are for "Nocturne"
by Dew Of Blood

Ah...
A few months ago, I was struggling to write a poem about my father, but the emotion I was trying to get across was elusive and hard to grasp, and the meaning got lost in the translation. I think you have pegged what I was trying to get at. This is short but profound, almost shocking in its simplicity. I am looking forward to more from you - thanks for posting.

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: September 8, 2006 )

Messiahs
Damn good poem. Perfect length, everything it needs is there. Mmmm. You're on my favourites list now.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: September 9, 2006 )

Nocturne
sparing simplicity that says a great deal and packs a profound emotional punch. Enjoyed this.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: September 10, 2006 )





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