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My heart is in a crater on the surface of the moon.
My arms reach up
Just can’t keep it...down
Just can’t hold me...now
It’s way out there
I’m on the ground

The world I love is a lovely girl
The girl I love is in love with the world

In love with a love that no one can see
In love with a way that I can be
Anything to anyone else
Forever, yet never the same

There’s a perfect picture in a frame inside my mind
Close my eyes to see it
Hold my breath and feel her, then

Although drowning

I sink further underwater…pretending
To be wrapped in arms and legs
Always lovers…sometimes friends

"Lazy lovers let it happen,
Passionate ones make it"

...Forlorn lovers wait too long.


------
Adam J. Dutcher

I am...


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Comments

The following comments are for "Forlorn Love"
by AdFunk

Though it does not rhyme..
...at least, not consistently so, I still think this would make an excellent song. It would explain the changes in rhythm and structure.

I especially liked,

Hold my breath and feel her, then

Although drowning

I sink further underwater…pretending
To be wrapped in arms and legs
Always lovers…sometimes friends

"Lazy lovers let it happen,
Passionate ones make it"

...Forlorn lovers take too long.


The poem was born at that point for me. The rest was just labor. Thanks so much for posting.

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: September 13, 2006 )

Ah, this one.
This one is most certainly one of my favorites as well. It makes you wish it was written for you just like you wish some songs were written for you. Hope to see some new stuff pretty soon, if you make it out here, perhaps Rhode Island in the fall will bring some inspiration.

( Posted by: peachalicious [Member] On: September 13, 2006 )

Forlorn? nahh...
Rhode Island in the fall... anywhere you can watch the kites soar? Many beautiful beaches-
I'm inland and envy you. Spent a lot of time in Naragannset(sp?) and Newport-
I now have the beautiful Blue Ridge mountains, and soon my weather will be your envy!
I heard this more as lyrics. As pure poetry, it needs some work, but as lyrics, which has more room for heart and soul, I thought it was very tender.

So nice you know
"The world I love is a lovely girl
The girl I love is in love with the world"

I liked it all, but I loved that sweet,lovely, in-love line-

best to you- and thanks for this write-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: September 13, 2006 )

Forlorn
My heart lives in these type of poetry... I must agree with Chinadoll that this one would make an excellent song, and there are several memorable lines here as most songs need to be able to hit the charts ;-) The first line pulled me in, I guess hearts never been there yet, in a crater on the surface of the moon, so I thought this one's interestingly, sadly beautiful... thank you for this.

( Posted by: peterpaulino [Member] On: September 14, 2006 )

It looks like Poetry to me
I'm not sure who the authority on the subject is, but this is poetry and music is too. Sadly though, I'm not quite musically talented, but if someone were to form this into a song, I think I'd be ok with that. Normally I'm not a writer of love poems, but I get sentimental at times, naturally I think I don't I'd write poetry if I weren't, perhaps I was listening to music at the time it was written is why it came the way it did.

( Posted by: AdFunk [Member] On: September 14, 2006 )





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