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9BWOz

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I wish there were something more to life
Like seeing the ending before you get to it
Or some sort of climax after each rainstorm.
Vicious cycles will never disappear
Even after we've promised to stop.
Don't waste my time now, please do it later
You know it's just no use anymore
Obviously we have to reconsider existance once more
Undone once more undone once more you know I loved you.

------
Kellie Lachata


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Comments

The following comments are for "I Loved You"
by ducktape

A ripper
This is very stark but it rips wide open at the end -- gives the reason for all the forelorn (sp?) thoughts that precede. Starts out like talking about the weather, but packs a good solid smack to the noggin in the end.

Well done

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: September 6, 2006 )

Returning
You know, I wasn't into this poem at first, but I found myself coming back to it several times. Couldn't figure out why.

Now I know: It's the repetition in the last line. Stirring.

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: September 7, 2006 )

thanks so much!
if any of you have noticed, look at the first letter of each line. spell it out. (; thanks again for your comments! :D
~kellie

( Posted by: ducktape [Member] On: September 10, 2006 )

Ha!
I didn't catch that at all. Thanks for bringing it to our attention, man.

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: September 10, 2006 )





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