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Though from behind
My first glance was most divine

Her face a true mystery to my eyes
A mystery I could not let go unsolved

First glance, so grand in sight
Yet to her face, it trembles in decline

Divinity surpassed into infinity
First glance fine, yet now to gaze into her face

This face of such warmth and glory
Now the second glance far greater than the first

More than a mere glance as I gaze into her face
Her smile as she passes by me, ever so close

Positive thoughts arise within me
I praise the Lord above, for this first glance from her

May I have this dance I question her
All you need do is ask she replies with a glance

All I need do is glance her way
As I say to her, a slow dance maybe, dear lady

I await her response, which seems not to come
As I loose hope, she answers with one word...

This first glance, into a gaze did turn
My eyes enchanted with her power over me

More than seems, less than known...

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The following comments are for "First Glance"
by MagnusVonMythos

For me, the word "glance" appears too often, it slows the pace down. I can see the ryhme pattern you want to use but the scenery doesn't change with all the glances going on. and I think the meter suffers a little as well.

Not one of your better pieces, but keep 'em coming


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: September 6, 2006 )

This piece as you put it...
THis poem is one of my really really older ones, it was written like about 18 years ago. I was still developing my voice to express myself. So if anyone bothers to read my profile, I stated that my first intent here on LIT.ORG was to post my work in the order it was written, yet they do not approve them in the order they are summitted so therefor, the poems are in no real order of time and function. Well I am someone taht allows the work to reamin in its origanl state out of respect of the piece itself. I could go thru all my works and alter and redo them. Yet then the storyline would be out of phase with the time they were written. So I allow them to remain as they are. Thank you for your comment

( Posted by: MagnusVonMythos [Member] On: September 6, 2006 )

Johnny Carson
In the words of the late and great Johnny Carson:

"I did not know that" sorry. I'll pay more attention next time.


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: September 7, 2006 )

Johnny Carson
No harm no fowl.... Yes Johnny was a gem that is for sure and Jay Lynno is a very poor replacement.... lol

( Posted by: MagnusVonMythos [Member] On: September 7, 2006 )

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