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The moon was out last night dropping his clothes in the garden
and
Like a patchwork robe he spread night across the grass and junipers;
There we lay on our backs and played checkers with the stars.
I looked at him and caught the tail of a comet in his eyes
And
holding tight I dove into those black pools,
swam naked through the inky sky, like a little fish
Leaving silvery scales where I kissed his skin.



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The following comments are for "The Moon was Out"
by Majnuna

The Moon Was Out
This built up relentlessly - the crescendo left me with goosebumps. This is beautiful, perfect, phenomenal!

"And
holding tight I dove into those black pools,
swam naked through the inky sky, like a little fish
Leaving silvery scales where I kissed his skin."

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: August 31, 2006 )

any poem about
the moon has my full attention. i liked the images you created (playing checkers with the stars - swimming naked through the inky sky).

i believe this is the first of your poems i have commented on...i will look for more...

john. john doe.

( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: September 1, 2006 )

Fabulous Work
Holy shit was this ever good. You're definitely on my favourites list now.

What a spectacular, apt, rich, metaphor. The arrangement, the imagery . . . damn. Great stuff.

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: September 1, 2006 )

Breath-taking!
I lived it. It came to life....I haven't read any of your works for a while. I am about to re-read everything!!! Thanks for sharing.

( Posted by: Serendipity [Member] On: September 3, 2006 )

This was indeed unique
and presented with lovely and tangible descriptions. I love the way you characterize the moon and the power of his light. This appeals to the senses and draws the reader in with its fine use of personifcation.

Thank you for sharing
my best,
Wendy

( Posted by: gwendrina [Member] On: September 5, 2006 )





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