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Several months ago (5/7/06 to be exact), I posted a blog titled "Sunrise. Someday Morning (19)." I announced that a small publication had agreed to publish a poem I'd written. Well, it's happened.

Yesterday, I received a complimentary copy of POETALK: winter/spring 2006 - this issue includes my poem, "The Phone Call." Established in 1974, POETALK is the offical publication of the Bay Area Poets Coalition, Berkley, California.

POETALK editor, Maggie Morley, published the poem on the condition that I agree to some small edits. I posted "The Phone Call" on Lit.Org, 11/18/05:

See for yourself - here's the difference.



The Phone Call - posted 11/18/05 Lit.Org.

I don't recall her words exactly,
but I heard the sound of my dying father
in the voice of my mother this morning.

I wore mom's voice like a heavy black coat
all day. And then, just now, I removed it and placed it
om my bed and I sat down beside it and wept.



The Phone Call - published 2006 POETALK.

I don't recall her words exactly,
but I heard the sound of my dying father
in the voice of my mother this morning.

I wore Mom's voice like a black coat
all day. Just now, I removed it, placed it
on my bed, sat down beside it and wept.


I perfer the original (but the edited version is growing on me).

I am currenly reading the magazine "Poetry: July/Augest 2006, the humor issue." I'm going to writing a letter to the editor about my impressions.






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Comments

The following comments are for "Blog 21."
by johnjohndoe

Great stuff
I really enjoyed both of those poems.To me they both capture the essence of grief and the relief of the escape

( Posted by: MattS [Member] On: October 5, 2006 )

Your version
I think I prefer your version, with the conjunctions in tact rather than the use of commas. Commas make it more sterile, less personal, although they do strip away all but the exlicitely important elements of what you say.

I still like your version better.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: November 11, 2006 )





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