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World leaders
Malnourished malicious minds
Finger on the trigger

"My balls are bigger than your balls"


Reduced to rubble
Blood stained creeks
vein of life for the worldly meak
thoughts of peace

Tree of life spills acid rain
too late
Law of nature outweighs might of man
End times,
are at hand


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The following comments are for "End Times"
by dentt

End times
The first five lines are the best. Maybe chop it off at that? ;) Just kidding. It was a very strong opening but it seemed to lose steam along the way. Was there a reason for 'meak' as opposed to 'meek'? And are the deceased having thoughts of peace, or is the subject?

I also really love the line "Law of nature outweighs might of man" - we've seen that a little bit more lately. What a wake-up call.

Keep writing and I'm sorry if this seemed to be too picky. I think you've got some excellent lines in here, it just needs a little tinkering to make it work from start to finish.

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: August 22, 2006 )

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