Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
2.66

(3 votes)


RatingRated by
6Unknown
1Unknown
1Unknown

You must login to vote

The youngPoet wasagain dragged before the Magistrate. Scars showed on his illusion thin arms where the chainshad bitten his flesh.

"Poor Poet, it seems I erred in commanding that you be starved. I grant your release and invoke your exile from my land. Pray, don't think me cruel for having been mistaken."

The Poet spoke softly, "You took me from my home, imprisonned me, starved me and now you free me on condition of exile. How am I to think you other than cruel?"

"Do not be harsh Poet - what I did I did for you, It was not malice but love that fastenned the chains."

"If that is the case, dear lady, I should have prefered malice."

"Such venom Poet, toward one who loved you enough to have wanted you spared a lifetime's agony is hateful and unkind. Please Poet be not so cruel as you think me."

"Would that I could think you cruel. Would that I could hate and curse you but I can not. The scars I bear will bea testament to my labour and your kindness."

"The things you say, each word tears through me like chain-shot. Yoiur every whisper is witchcraft. Pray Poet, speak no more."

"For you I toiled, for you I lost the sun and felt my body waste. For you I abandonned my native land. For you I did this and for you I shall be the Poet no more - as you wish."

With that the young poet gathered his rags about him and walked into oblivion without a backward glance.

Did a tear flee the magistrate's eye as he passed through the door?Who is to say?

------
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem? / If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy? - The Bloodhound Gang Hell Yeah


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Allegory II"
by Enforced Bliss

to Enforced Bliss
Personally, I think the grammar can be improved and the language is a bit puzzling. What is chain-shot? Somehow it sounds fairly modern.

I like the story however, it's bittersweet and the dialogue wonderful, albeit the mistakes.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: November 15, 2002 )

Chain-shot
Thank you for another concise and considered critique, I appreciate the thought that you seem to put into your commentary - while, as I have said, I may not always agree, I do take it into consideration.

Chain shot was a "weapon" used by cannoneers. It consisted of a line of cannons loaded with balls to which a length of chain had been fixed by means of a loop of metal on the ball. When the guns were touched off simultaneously the balls and attendant chain would tear through advancing infantry. I believe it was originally used by the navy to bring down ships masts but was quickly co-opted by ground forces asa particularly evil way of seperating one's fellow man from his lower half.

( Posted by: Enforced bliss [Member] On: December 25, 2002 )

No chauvinism
I thought the overall tone was appropriate to the subject. I liked the piece, although with my rose-colored glasses, I would like the poet not to have abandoned his craft in the end, but to embrace it all the more.

And the magistrate is a woman! (No further comment needed, eh?)

( Posted by: Feistyfemale [Member] On: December 29, 2002 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: