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Dreaming in color
of Chinese Fighting fish
I'm in the glass bowl
breathing under water
the fish are sitting beside the fire
reading Japanese Haikus
My brother "Louie"
dreams in black and white
He loves Bogie and Becall
some people say they never dream
The fish fall asleep
dreaming in
I fall asleep and
become a Haiku


The following comments are for "DREAMING IN COLOR"

Surreal :-)
I've given this a very good score, because it's one of the best poems I've read here in ages. It's totally surreal, but totally vivid - you've brought your dreams to life in a remarkably small number of words. I can totally relate to it as well... that's not to say I dream of fish and poetry, but I do have some pretty surreal dreams, and this poem really does describe the experience quite well.
One question though - why the quotes around your brother's name? I didn't get that.

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: November 10, 2002 )

Well I was surprised and pleased, thank you. The Louie thing was an edit goof as usual. Will post more surreal stuff, that is my fist love in writing, but can realy throw people.
Your poem Clone on the Range is my favorite, will read it to my Mom who hates rhyming poems so she can hear how good and cleaver they can be . Will tell you her reaction.

( Posted by: NANCY L BAKER [Member] On: November 10, 2002 )

I liked the imagery
of the dream sequence. keep up the good work.

( Posted by: ESeufert [Member] On: November 10, 2002 )

...but nice!

I liked the pace of this, it was almost a drifting quality.

Well done indeed!


( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: November 11, 2002 )

Re: Thanks
Edit goofs... yep. I know all about that too... but if you've been reading my poems here (or the comments on them at least), you'll already know that! :-)
Looking forward to hearing your mom's reaction. Myself I prefer some of my other work to the clone song. Look out, though - I've got poetry more on the way!

( Posted by: Spudley [Member] On: November 11, 2002 )

wonderful imagery
good work realy like this one wow

( Posted by: jenniferzlomke [Member] On: November 16, 2002 )

Poetry Floats
My dream
is to shatter the glass bowl...
to free the fins of my imagination...
to swimmingly float a poem

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: May 27, 2016 )

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