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She’s always holding up the wall, every time I see her, she’s alone along the wall, just staring with those deep, dark, hypnotizing brown eyes. I don’t know her name, have never heard her talk, just see her almost every day, leaning against the wall with this look of total content.

“Did you hear anything I just said?” Brandy asks.

“Every word,” I lie, my eyes fixed on this girl so mysterious. I watch as another girl comes up to her, they exchange words and then she smiles, laughing. She’s gorgeous, but Brandy, the attention whore gets in my way.

“Who are you staring at?” she asks, looking back.

“Look there’s that sparkle in her eye,” Keke laughs, “which dude are you crushing on?”

I blush, hoping that they are dumb enough to know that there haven’t been any guys over there, just her. I look at her smiling, so innocent and sweet, and blush more.

She actually looks up at me and I sink deep into those brown eyes of hers. It’s like falling into the deep end of a pool and I can’t swim. I try not to do anything impulsive, which would usually be biting my lower lip. I lick my lips instead and when her jaw drops a little and does the same I lose my breath.

I’m struggling to get my head above water and I’m on the verge of falling forward. She’s got me on balance, still looking at me, scoping me, giving me the ole head to toe. Brandy and Keke look at me, trying to figure it out, exactly who has got me so sprung out so fast.

“Come on,” I say, turning after getting one more look at her to go back towards the cafeteria.

Every second until I see her next is spent, wondering if she is like me. If maybe she likes me or if neither if I could get her to. I see her again in the hall, she’s content once again. I want to so bad to approach her, but it’s a big risk because if she doesn’t feel the same way then everyone will know the secret I’ve been harboring.

We pass each other and we both sneak glances and then when I’m far down the hall I peek back and see that she’s done the very same thing. I blush, but she just stands peering at what seems right through me.

I see her again the next day, I accidentally like I’m some type of dork bump into her when I’m walking with Brandy, Keke, and some guys. James laughs at us both as I try to help her pick up her things, blushing the whole time.

“Sorry,” I say looking up at her face of beautiful content. My nipples feel like they’re going to melt off, standing so close to her and feeling her body heat. That’s when I know for sure that she wants me.

I see her at lunch at her usual spot, leaning against the wall and she looks better then ever. I have to go talk to her, I feel light-headed like I’m going to fall over. I covet her touch so much that my fear just dissipates.

I find myself walking over there, trying to look as cute as possible, while actually attracting the attention from a few guys that I pass by. She looks likes she’s breathing deeper then normal. I’ve got her flustered and she’s got me nervous.

I stick my palms, so sweaty, in my pocket. “Hey, what’s your name?” I say too blunt, “I mean I see you around all the time and I did like run into you earlier.”

“Mya.” she says. Her voice is so sexy along with her name. I’m holding my breath.


“Simone, I know everybody knows and you know that.” she laughs, flashing me that smile. Her lips are fantastically plump.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I ask, trying to subliminally find out if she’s gay, or bi, or even just wondering. I don’t care I just want her.

Mya blushes, “Nope, actually just got dumped about a month ago.”

“By who?” I ask.

“My girlfriend. I’m bi.” she’s blushing.

I just want to skip conversation and go straight to relations, but that would be not good I guess. I still can’t find words.

“You knew that. Because real recognizes real.” she laughs.

“Well, what can I say? I’ve been watching you for a little while and…”

“You wanna hook up?”

I nod, hypnotized by her moving lips.

“I don’t know I might be a little too aggressive for you.” she giggles and walks off.

I’m stunned. Paralyzed by the rejection, but wait a minute I can’t let her just walk away that easy, so I follow her into the crowd she’s walking through in the middle of the commons. I can see Brandy and Keke in the corner of my eye, can even hear them call my name.

“Mya!” I call and she turns around.

I move fast towards her lips and she embraces me fully. I don’t know what I’m doing, but she does her tongue slipping down my throat. I have to hold on to her skinny little waist to keep from falling down. She pulls away from me, looking for air, but I pull her back, wanting just a little more. When we finally let go of each other and open our eyes I see everyone has been watching us. The secrets out, but I don’t care because now that I’m actually being real and honest with everyone I recognize no one except this girl.

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The following comments are for "Recognition"
by Deeha

Good story
I enjoyed how you captured those 'forbidden feelings': the longing one tries to keep secret from everyone else, even when it's so hard to do. I know the feeling, and you captured it pretty well, although the story goes so fast from the meeting to the kiss at the end that those moments of "oh, is someone watching me? Do they know?" are far too fleeting. If you were to add anything, it would be a bit more of those moments worrying about the friends. After that initial scene, they more or less disapear.

To nitpick a bit, the last word of the first paragraph should be 'contentment'. That error stuck out at me, so I thought I'd point it out to you. Some comas might have been better as semi-colons, and there were several other areas where punctuation was imperfect (especially missing comas)

Overall, though, it's a great story, and just needs a little tweaking to make it a great piece of writing.

( Posted by: RichardMV [Member] On: August 9, 2006 )

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