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Eluded Me


I am as lonely as an old man,
newly buried his old wife;
as lonely as a cookie cutter,
or grape-fruit knife.

Iím as lonely as a forgotten ring
in the bottom of a drawer;
as lonely as the promises
from when I wanted more.

Iím as lonely as a seashell
lost in deepest darkest sea.
Iíve spent my life in loneliness.
Love has eluded me.

Love has masqueraded
with masks of different faces,
shown up in different places,
but the truths have only traces-

Iím as lonely as the last leaf
still clinging to the tree.
Iíve spent my life in loneliness.
Love has been illusion-
love has eluded me-

------
Elizabeth Maksymiuk


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Comments

The following comments are for "Eluded Me"
by emaks

Awesome..Elizabeth.
This one is really brilliant.U have given so many examples..I felt no one could have defined 'Loneliness' better than this.

Please bring on more..I am eager to read more of ur works.

Take care..

( Posted by: G.S.VASUKUMAR [Member] On: August 5, 2006 )

nice work.
i especially liked all the stricking similes.

j.jd.

( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: August 5, 2006 )

Lonesome
Hey, thanks for writing a poem about me! Just kidding, but I think there are many people who would see themselves here.

I'm not a big fan of rhyming poetry but I sure like this one. Your similies are well-chosen, especially the cookie-cutter and grapefruit knife.

I think the word you probably meant to use is "eluded" and "eluding", not "alluded" and "alluding?"

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: August 5, 2006 )

It isn't always fun ...
to be in love...I hear the sex was great but we can't get along...and sex isn't everything...love is not using each other to satisfy lust...You have to be best friends...and both must work on maintaining the relationship...Love eluded me too...but I sure was used up...I guess we all long for that one perfect person...only thing is...nobody is perfect...so we must love someone enough to overlook their imperfections...Sorry, just the ramblings of an old lady...I did enjoy reading your lovely poem...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: August 5, 2006 )

On Lonely- GSV, jjd, Gomarsoap, and Kacee
Of course, eluded- Thanks Bob! I will edit very soon.

My muse has been sleeping a lot lately and this came quickly. Too quickly I think to be anything substantial, but I did like the grapefruit knife. The kids didnít get that part. I guess not everyone has appreciation for lonely kitchen implements.

I have a man in my life right now who is still tolerable. Heís arrogant and thoughtless, but heís a musician. He has a few nice qualities... sometimes. Mostly heís lucky heís such a damn good musician!

Lucky the ones whose loneliness is only fleeting moments-

Thanks for your time and comments. Nice to see each of you show up here.
-Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: August 5, 2006 )

Lonely
This is a beautiful, sad piece. As Gomar said, you couldn't have chosen better similies; my favorite was the last leaf still clinging to the tree.

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: August 5, 2006 )

Allusions and illusions
Quoting Gomar: 'I'm not a big fan of rhyming poetry but I sure like this one'. There's a deceptive depth and a beautiful easy-reading rightness about it all. The grapefruit knife is genius: it says so much so succinctly! Oh, and although the 'eluded' mistake leapt out at me on first reading, I actually think... how about 'eluded me' in the third stanza but then, in the last line 'love has alluded to me'. I really like the sideways look-twice quality of that. A happy accident, perchance?

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: August 5, 2006 )

Eluded Me
this was lovely, "quirky" without being cutesy, and the rhyme was well-done, the images well-picked. Both accessible and original, something everyone can identify with. Hey, thanks for writing a poem about all of us (at one time or another).

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: August 7, 2006 )

China,Mobious,Pen, Guts
China thank you for your time and comment. Yes, I felt sad when I read it back. I read it to my daughter (I have two, my best critics) and my voice cracked... these girls are so used to me. I cry at Kleenex commercials!
Sad and sweet, that's me...
Mobious Soul, you have so much soul! Caitlin- your comments are always profound. I envy your insight. You and Lucie are soul-sisters, no doubt! Thank you for seeing depth in flight of heart. A lot of my poetry is thoughts, whatever they may bring.
(To see serious poet me please read (short version: sonnet to crow, longer, better version "unrequited", or all haiku [each are short, so take the time!])
{I hope you know I'm kidding, unless you want to...}

Penelope! What praise! From you, it is very valued. Thank you.

and MiseryGuts- I have seen you commenting around and appreciate what I've seen of you. Thanks for stopping by to comment on this and is "skoll" Irish or Scottish? How about 'Lock-high-em". Hell- cheers and blessings!

-To all-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: August 10, 2006 )

Caitlin/ Soul
I meant to thank you for the idea of the "alluded" ending. I played a bit and came up with this. I like it, but I usually have to live with things to know if it is fleeting or not. What do you think?
As I said, was spur of the moment flow, which I love when it comes, but it isn't always the best poetry till "tweaking". Thanks for your heartfelt poet eye, and your time and attention.

I owe hours to readiing here-

best to you Caitlin-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: August 10, 2006 )

Elluded/ Mobius Soul -Opinion?
Same as above- went off the front page quickly because of my edit.
I value your opinion...
Thanks and blessings-
E

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: August 13, 2006 )

So Long
You've captured the sort of emotion that lingers, hangs around like stratus clouds and turns everything grey. Perfect. As Gomarsoap said, you've created something that so many people will identify with. I was all of your similes for so many years.

These sorts of definitions are far more instructive than those in the dictionary.

I hope you aren't as lonely now.

( Posted by: viper9 [Member] On: August 13, 2006 )

Eluded Me
What a great poem. You capture what everyone feels from time to time. thanks for posting

( Posted by: wanda [Member] On: August 13, 2006 )

Eluded belated, Viper and Wanda
Thanks very much for reading and commenting.
Sorry to be so tardy in response-
I appreciate you both as writers and thoughtful people, and so your comments mean a lot.
blessings-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: August 22, 2006 )

The Lonliest Leaf
Holding you
Is like holding me
I think I need a hug.

( Posted by: awhippingflame [Member] On: October 13, 2006 )

whippingflame-
Hey G Dean, how nice of you to check out something of mine. We can all use hugs- sending one your way... Is your avatar the painting to which you referred in comment to Lucie? I like.

I too am graphic artist. Nice to make your acquantaince- hope to see you around-
blessings-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: October 14, 2006 )

Classic!
Like Emily Dickinson, but more immediate and tangible.

( Posted by: poeteye [Member] On: January 25, 2008 )

poeteye- "Eluded Me"
Wow. That's quite a compliment. I'll take it (although I might not agree with it)
I still like the grape-fruit knife-

thanks very much for looking in on me and commenting
-Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: February 2, 2008 )





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