Oh well, what's new? Not really much, except for the summertime blues.
You must login to vote
I have gotten totally wrapped up in a wonderfull movie "Billy's Hollywood Screen Kiss". Yes, I'm a sucker for gay movies, I don't know why, maybe cuz it's just men and not so many annoying females? Or I can sympathize with Billy. Cuz right now, I feel like Billy in the first few minutes of the movie, not counting that crazy credit roll, that was funny!
And one night, I don't know how, but I stumbled onto a list of poetic terms, and there were different types that my english teacher didn't force on me. So I tried my pen at a few, and have pulled a nice story type Italian Sonnet out of my imagination. I like it, but I'll keep it to myself for a while. And I wrote an Octave, I forget what it was about, but it made me depressed for a few minutes.
And you know that creepy feeling you get when you see someone you used to know very well that you haven't seen in a -long- time, but very briefly?
Yeah, you stop whatever you are doing, breathing and otherwise(stop speaking, maybe not blink for a few seconds more than normal) and just watch them until you can't see them anymore. I think I saw one such person I knew. And I've been tripping out in my head.
Then today, I went to a medical website to -try- and diagnose myself for chronic depression, but I need to see a doc for that. So nevermind, I'll just live with what I have.
I'm really pissed off because my sleeping ppatern drasticly changes itself two weeks before school when I need it to go back to normal.
And like any normal teenage girl, I like to talk a lot to my friends. My sister is out of reach until school starts and the only two people I have left in my phone book that I haven't pissed off their family -somehow- are difficult. One has my same predicament and nothing to talk about. The other is almost never home.
I sorta became obsessed with my tarot cards, yes I am one of those wierdos who likes to think that they work. And one day my sister and I were giving each other a reading, the events specified by the two cards that represented basicly my immediate and more long term future[(ie the comming school year, the next two months) in the 'celtic cross' spread]predicted a certain event which DID take place. Go ahead and think I'm stupid for believing that the cards actually predict the future and whatever else. Sometimes I'd like to know whats ahead.
There's only a week and a half until school starts (I think) and I'm indifferent to it begining. It has it's good and bad. The good is I won't be here all damn day, and the bad is being up so freakin early. I'll get to see some friends, make some new ones, piss off other classmates(that never gets old), get on teachers bad sides(that's fun too) and doodle all day.
And lately I've sorta been worried that I won't get over this thing I have to get over. I'm afraid that I won't be able to move on. But I think I'm doing an okay job of it, one of my great friends that I love to death is helping me through this. And the others are so great, they listen to me bitching(that's a term some of us southerners use for 'whining') and crying about it. And I'm thinking that be exposed to one thousand people might help me get completely out of the hallway and into a new corridor.
Mad monkey fling poo!