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Author's Note: I'm not sure how to heal myself , but maybe writing it out will help. The next lot of submissions from me will fall under this 'getting better' category. I can't help it if I sound whiney, that's just how it comes out.



An end to all wars
Is an end to my fears
I seek comfort from whores
To help me with my tears
It's days like this I can't breathe
Solitary in the coffee shop
In my mind I wreathe
Crying while I mop
The evil light you did bring
Burnt my once innocent eyes
You know of which I sing
Do not give me real lies
The big windows hide me not
From he who makes my heart rot



------
Mad monkey fling poo!


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Comments

The following comments are for "New 1"
by SingChi

Diner
I like this poem alot. It has a sense of realness. The speaker's words are like the private thoughts of someone in an Edward Hopper painting.

I don't understand "wreathes" - are you sure you have the right word you want to use?

I'm not sure what "real lies" are as opposed to just regular lies.

The last two lines are killer.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: July 20, 2006 )

New 1
"it's days like this I can't breathe/ Solitary in the coffee shop" There's a really nice simple sincerity there, something universal too, think most people have had days like that, know I have. I'm glad you're choosing to write how you feel Chi, some of these lines are really very good. And I agree with gomarsoap that the last two are stellar.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: July 20, 2006 )

response
Well, I meant the girl(me) is mopping the floor in the shop because it was dirty.

( Posted by: SingChi [Member] On: July 20, 2006 )





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