Simply Love me
by Sparx (Member) - published: July 21, 2006
Word Count: 96 Word Bytes: 608 Viewed: 443 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by Sparx

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I do not wish for your lips
supple and smooth
like the belly of an Asian dancer,
to dance passionately on my mouth

I do not wish for your body
golden and luminous
like a pearl hidden in deep sea,
to show me your most secret passages

I do not wish for your virginity
natural and untouched
like a sacred rose within a church,
to be stolen by my devious lust

I only wish for your love
hidden in your soul
like an angel hiding in the clouds
to bless my life with your warmth

------
Words are the droplets of paint i use to draw a story.

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Comments

The following comments are for "Simply Love me"
by Sparx

Simply love me
For me the first and third stanzas were strongest, a sacred rose within a church and the belly of an Asian dancer are wonderfully striking, original images. Although the whole thing still sings with a sensual fluency I get a feeling of familiarity from the other images, they're not so unusal or distinctive, and for me that kind of tarnishes the brilliance of the whole a bit. If that makes sense. But it's a lovely sweet sentiment and the language is limber and smooth all the way through. Liked it.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: July 21, 2006 )

Excellent
This is a great poem. I enjoyed how you did the lines repetitively, definitely added great effect. Each similie hit well too and they were all quite creative.

I do not wish for your virginity
natural and untouched
like a sacred rose within a church,
to be stolen by my devious lust

A very nice way of words for someone special.

( Posted by: Essence [Member] On: July 23, 2006 )

simply love me
beautifully writen keep it up.

( Posted by: wanda [Member] On: July 24, 2006 )

good sparx
smooth talker.

( Posted by: unseenwriterx [Member] On: July 24, 2006 )

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