We sit on a couch in our modest apartment, sipping coffee and looking into each
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other's eyes while a blizzard rages outside. Billie Holiday is playing in the
background. I hold you in my arms as we stare into the fireplace from underneath
an old blanket. Although I couldn't be happier like this, I know I'll have to
get up in a minute to check on the roast I'm cooking for the dinner party. Not
really a party, just a couple of other guys from the squadron and their wives.
Reluctantly, I get up and traipse to the kitchen. I open the oven to find the
roast is now here even close to done. While I'm up I change the CD to Joni James
and turn the lights off. The guys aren't going to be here for another couple of
hours, so I light the candles perched on the end tables.
You look up at me, you're face glowing in the light from the fireplace, and I
fall in love with you for the thousandth time this evening. Two Lovers comes on
and I take your hand, drawing you from the warmth of the blanket. In jest, I
formally bow to you, and you rebuke me with a curtsy and an enchanting smile. I
take you in the embrace of a slow dance and we glide across the wood floor of
the living room in our socks. We turn and dip and occasionally step on each
other's feet all the while laughing, God, I could listen to your laugh forever.
The music stops, but we keep dancing. Slower this time, and closer. Your head is
on my chest and your arms around my waist. I bury my nose in your hair, inhaling
We close our eyes and everything else fades out of existence. It's just us; two
people slow dancing to the rhythm of our breathing in a perfectly silent house
on a perfectly silent planet in a perfectly silent universe. Then, it dawns on
me. The realization that everything I have done or achieved or experienced in
the past was merely prologue to right now. This is it, this is the moment I've
been waiting for all my life. The shuffle of our feet, the crackle of the fire,
the buffeting of wind and snow against the windows. The fragrance of your hair,
the warmth of your touch, the beating of your heart. In this epiphanic moment, I
am intensely aware of all of these things. The sheer beauty of all of it is
almost too much to take at once. My heart aches from it, overwhelmed with an
indescribable emotion. Joy and sadness and love and gratitude and desire and
ecstasy and longing and a million other things they haven't made words for yet.
I look down into your eyes, and before losing myself in their depths, I find the
definition of what I'm feeling. And I realize that there will never be a word
We stop dancing. I reach up to brush your chestnut hair out of your eyes. I
caress the side of your face with my right hand, at the same time drawing you
closer to me. Your lips touch mine, and for just a split second, my heart stops
beating. I die a little death. Without words, we both know what all of this
means. Throw the roast in the fridge. The dinner party just got postponed.
This is the day I'll carry in my heart for when I need it. For when the world
is so terrible that only this perfect moment in time with you could sustain me
through its tribulations. In the last moments of my life, this is the day that I
will relive over and over again for all eternity as my own heaven.
You and me, slow dancing to the rhythm of our love, in a perfectly silent