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the dien child
by chriss (Member) - published: July 6, 2006
Word Count: 46 Word Bytes: 326 Viewed: 371 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by chriss





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10

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10G.S.VASUKUMAR

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so skiny and sad
disgusted by its own body
that it cant control
how poor it looks
in that terrible clothe

it cant hold itself..
against wind and against..
its.. but own meagre weight
poor baby,child of GOD
whats bring you in this awkward world....


------
csam


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Comments

The following comments are for "the dien child"
by chriss

Save The Children
Compelling poem, though not sure where you're coming from with the spelling & patois. It has a strangely written quality that I like.

I don't like all the dot-dot-dots. Are they supposed to denote a pause in your thoughts? I think you should get rid of them & just let your words speak for themselves. Your word picture is compelling enough that the reader can't & doesn't want to pause.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: July 7, 2006 )





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