Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 
the dien child
by chriss (Member) - published: July 6, 2006
Word Count: 46 Word Bytes: 326 Viewed: 417 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by chriss





Average Rating
10

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
10G.S.VASUKUMAR

You must login to vote

so skiny and sad
disgusted by its own body
that it cant control
how poor it looks
in that terrible clothe

it cant hold itself..
against wind and against..
its.. but own meagre weight
poor baby,child of GOD
whats bring you in this awkward world....


------
csam


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "the dien child"
by chriss

Save The Children
Compelling poem, though not sure where you're coming from with the spelling & patois. It has a strangely written quality that I like.

I don't like all the dot-dot-dots. Are they supposed to denote a pause in your thoughts? I think you should get rid of them & just let your words speak for themselves. Your word picture is compelling enough that the reader can't & doesn't want to pause.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: July 7, 2006 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:




© Lit.Org All rights reserved.
Home | Privacy Policy | FAQ | Media Kit | Site Map | About Us

Login:
Password: