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Are you suffering from a harmful disease?

Johnny: “Mom, I’ve got a cold!”

Are you tired of being ignored because you’re not quite sick enough?

Mom: “Shut up, Johnny. Susie has polio, AIDS, cancer, pinkeye, AND a cold. You can just go to bed.”

In this unfortunate world of disease and tragedy, it may seem like you are truly sick. Remember, though, there are people less fortunate than you in the world, probably even in your hometown.

But you can be better than them! Introducing new Pocket Pathogens™!

Finally, a way for you to get the attention you deserve! Simply open the protective package and remove the syringe containing the pathogens for the desired disease. Inject the pathogens into your left arm and let the fun begin!

Johnny: “Mom, I’ve got the mumps, botulism, the bubonic plague, a spastic bladder, Oriental nightmare death syndrome, lidocane poisoning, rheumatoid arthritis, transverse myelitis, hookworm, and internal hemorrhages!”

Mom: “Oh, poor Johnny!”

Pocket Pathogens™ come in eight exciting flavors!

Rabies Raspberry!
Leprosy Lemon!
Gangrene Grape!
Acne Apple!
Chicken Pox Cherry!
Side Effects Strawberry!
and Blue!

Pocket Pathogens™. Because you can feel absolutely horrible and still feel good about yourself.

Johnny: “I’ll never have to worry about being sick again! (falls to the floor)”

What is the truth? Ask the majority.


The following comments are for "Pocket Pathogens"
by Lachrym

Sick-puppy stuff...
...but funny - I can really see the glowy-TV-ad you're painting. (Title caught my eye because, tragically, this reads like the schedule for pretty much any seminar series at the School of Public Health where I work. Truly us privileged first-worlders don't know we're born...)

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: June 28, 2006 )

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