i dont belive
by schindees (Member) - published: June 24, 2006
Word Count: 35 Word Bytes: 203 Viewed: 785 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by schindees

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one day a man told his child a story
and the child responded
only children belive in fairytails
the man blinked and when he opend his eyes
he saw him self staring right at him

------
i am a misuderstood lunatic

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Comments

The following comments are for "i dont belive"
by schindees

Yep...
Religion will do that you... but it takes more than just saying something is a fairytale to get a Christian to think a bit more logically.

I've always felt the same way about religion... it's just a made-up story about an omniscient being who created all knowledge and things, without knowing how to create knowledge beforehand. Knowledge without effort.

As for the poem... it's a bit too short. It's more of a snippet than a full work. It didn't really address the central topic very much (I'm assuming this is a nonbeliever's response to religion?). You've got a good start, though; just try expanding a bit and working on the spelling errors.

( Posted by: Lachrym [Member] On: June 25, 2006 )

Nice one..
This one is too short. But even then it is nice.

GSVK

( Posted by: G.S.VASUKUMAR [Member] On: June 26, 2006 )

Thoughts
I actually liked it. The shortness of it and the abrupt end works wonders. It made Lachrym think of an omnipotent god, yet you never even mention religion. Very thoughtful.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: June 26, 2006 )

three very diffrent views
i didnt plan relgion as an under tone but under standing needs schema it was meant to be very short very staight to the point kinda poemg g.v.s.k. commeted Lachrym thought of religion i am a conservative jew by the way and siah built on the whole thing
the poem is a protest about popular media the man represents the past and the booy reresents the futuer

( Posted by: schindees [Member] On: June 26, 2006 )

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