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despair
a pit
i sank into
fast
i fell
rock bottom
i hit
from here
the ocean
i hear
taste
the salt
i can
feel
the water
i can't
see
the gulls
above me
i
hate it
down here
each word
brings me
one inch
closer
to the
light of day


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Comments

The following comments are for "Fallen"
by uncle oswald

Re: Got it
Basically, I have nooooo idea how to reply to an individual, namely yourself Jessica, so I'm just putting a few words up here. I took a look at Fallen before I whacked it on here, and I didn't even notice that there were two fell's. Strange. I really appreciate your critique, you may notice I do take it onboard...

( Posted by: uncle oswald [Member] On: October 12, 2002 )

neat.
Uncle Oswald,

Interesting to say the least. It had a certain simplicity about it that I really liked. The way the poem is written even gives the reader a sense of falling.

Can't wait to see more of you...in fact I am going to go and catch some of your other stuff.

Later,
Dras

( Posted by: Drastine [Member] On: October 14, 2002 )





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