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When I was young, I was always made to believe

That everytime my fingers get pricked

A simple kiss from mom would make the ouchie go away.



Growing up I was always taught

That if at night I couldnít sleep

And if shadows lurk and fear runs deep

All I had to do was close my eyes

And my fears would vanish.



Why was it that when we were kids

Our elders always told us

That if we just closed our eyes

And wished hard and long enough

Our dreams would come true.



Our knights in shining armor

Would gallop our way and save us.

Our princesses would come

And bring light to our lives.

All worries and fears would disappear

If we just believed.



I have tried to live by this creed

And worked hard to believe in the goodness of all

I have even let go of silly ambitions

To pursue grander dreams I thought would come true

Because I have always tried to believe.



I gave my heart to the first person whom I believed would love me

Because I was taught that if you worked hard for it

And believed that your love is forever

Your fairytale romance will come true.



All my life I have done nothing but believe

And when the going got tougher

I simply closed my eyes and wished for the fear to go away.

That if I asked someone I loved to kiss my hurt,

Then the pain will vanish.



Now I am older, wiser

Or so I like to think.

I still cling to the beliefs of the past

I still hope and dream and wish that the good will last.

I have done everything my mom and those before me have advised

I have tried to believe and to hold on and trust

In the process Iíve burned my heart

And lost my soul.

Iíve given up on real dreams

And went on chasing silly fantasies.

In the end my heart suffered.

In the end Iíve failed.



Now I am older, wiser

Or so I desperately wish to be.

I have found out in the hardest and most painful of ways

That contrary to my momís advice

A simply kiss does not make the hurt go away.

Sometimes the kiss gives even more pain than cure.



I have learned that my fears do not simply vanish

By closing my eyes and hoping it goes away.

Sometimes doing so makes us even more vulnerable

And in the process we end up relying too much on darkness for comfort.



Dreams are good and give you hope

But they are simply that, dreams

I have learned not to pin my world on love and trust

For sometimes are dreams blind us from even the most blatant truths.

I have to love myself first, and love myself more

Before I can even dare hope that I will be happy with someone else.



I have learned lifeís lessons the hard way

I have learned that not everything taught to us when we were young was true.

Sometimes, you just have to cry and let it go.

Sometimes, you just have to move on and never look back.

A kiss is just a kiss and not a cure.

Dreams and wishes and hopes are nothing but just that.

Itís time to move on. Itís time to go.




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Comments

The following comments are for "What I Believed"
by Hammurabi

Hamm - This is great
This was a wonderful read. I liked the imagery, the message and the flow.

Thanks for posting this pieces. I will watch for more of your work.

Lady M

( Posted by: LadyMitulia [Member] On: June 16, 2006 )

What I believed
Very good write...I guess Moms and Dads...(especially Moms) try to keep the cruel word at bey (sp) from our children as long as possible ...we figure ...you will find out soon enough...to tell you not to trust would just confuse a young mind..but to tell you to trust everyone is just as confusing...I'm even confusing myself...but that is why moms and dads have to be extra careful and watch the children when they are small...before they can learn to take care of themselves...I guess you have to experience hurts to become stronger...to get from here to there you must go through...Did I find out you can't trust everyone, that love sometimes hurts, that nothing lasts forever? You bet...but at 61 and three quarters...and a graduate of The School Of Hard Knocks...I'm still here and what didn't kill me made me stronger...and you can take that to the bank...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: June 16, 2006 )

what I believed
Sorry I meant to say cruel world...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: June 16, 2006 )

I Know
I feel like you do and I think of the same things everyday. I think it's nice to have big expectations, though we know in our hearts that most of it isn't true. History will repeat itself and as parents we will say the same things to keep our children's hearts from being broken. I do like your poem.

( Posted by: kraziRenee [Member] On: June 16, 2006 )





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