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It’s not for righteousness that I say

“I have not”
“…could not”
“…will not”

More honest instead to say,
“I do not, because in loving you I want not…”


------
Robert

(Whatever you think about the writing, whatever you do, PLEASE take the time to comment. I'm looking for constructive critism; blocks upon which I can build. THANKS!!! rajengineer)


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The following comments are for "Fidelity"
by rajengineer

fidelity
Thought provoking, stunningly said both beautiful, yet curt.

( Posted by: unseenwriterx [Member] On: May 15, 2006 )

re: Fidelity unseenwriterx
I was waiting to see if anyone else commented as well. It looks like you're the only taker.

The idea is that a person is sending a subtle warning of sorts to a lover.

The message is this:

my fidelity is not based on some abstract idea of integrity or character. I'm faithful because I'm satisfied at home. If I'm not, then WATCH OUT...

I don't know if that's what comes across to you, but that's the intent of the poem.

Thanks for taking the time to comment. I look forward to hearing from you again.

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: May 17, 2006 )

Want not
Wow, this is powerful. I totally agree and love the bold way it is stated. I enjoy your writing.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 17, 2006 )

re: Fidelity/Nae
I'm gratified that you like my writing. It means a lot, since I like your stuff so much myself.

Robert

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: May 17, 2006 )

re: Windchime/Fidelity
Windchime -

Thank you for reading AND commenting. Coming from you, it's quite a compliment; you're nothing if not HONEST... :-)

RAJ

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: May 17, 2006 )

Robert,
This is my last comment tonight, glad I followed your "comment" on recent comments...

I really like this and agree. I didn't see it as a warning but a promise. Vows should not be of warnings but promises. We know promises can be broken, warnings can change or weaken IMO.
I am surprised HOW much is actually said and I LOVE Brevity, even though I do not practise it, I am quite verbose.

Honesty is a key to Goodself.

Thanks for sharing this, I will read more of your things tomorrow, or at least this week.

Darlene

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: May 17, 2006 )

re: Fidelity/Dareva
Coooool... :-)

Thanx
RAJ

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: May 17, 2006 )





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