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Your touch on my face as I burst out and cried,
Trying to console me cause someone had died.
We held each other as I broke down in a mess.
Then you told me with time it would hurt less.
I still miss my uncle and everything wed done.
The best uncle who lived his life full of fun.



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The following comments are for "Loss"
by Colwyn

Sad
Colwyn,

First off, I am sorry for your loss. Losing a family member is always hard. Your poem was written well and showed emotion. The second line however, could use a comma between me and cause. This might help the poem flow a bit better (not sure if this is correct, but it is something I noticed while reading it).

Beautifully written, can't wait to see more.

Later,
Dras

( Posted by: Drastine [Member] On: October 2, 2002 )





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