Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
8BWOz

You must login to vote

Consistent always is this feeling that lingers
for the devoted one.
Nothing other than a cupful of loneliness
to account for it.
Empty words reward me with what?
Iíve still no lover.
Longing and grief feed off the other
making tragedy reign without possibilities
of being yours.
Hope has faded into a flask of glitter,
once a heap of shiny dust,
now reduced to a trace of sparkles.
Small insignificant trails on my hands and face
plaster a shattered smile of pretend,
and once again, no reward for me.

------
I am on a journey. Looking for Me. Everyday I get a little closer. The more time goes by the more I realize I'm always changing. This journey could take forever... Renae L. Soler


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "No Reward for Me"
by nae411

comments for No Reward for Me
Okay -

Parenthetically - It looks like I'm the first person to comment on this. I feel kinda bad, because you might get the wrong idea, and think that I don't like your work, or something like that. That couldn't be further from the truth; I read alot of what you write, and I always enjoy it. That said, the subject was something that I could easily relate to, so I felt compelled to give it REAL, EXHUASTIVE read through. I also played with the text a little bit. I hope I don't come across as too harsh, or too critical.

Sincerely,

rajengineer

*****
Consistent always is this feeling that lingers
for me, the devoted one.

Nothing

other than a cupful of loneliness
to account for it.

Empty words reward me with what?
Iíve still no lover.

Longing and grief feed off each other
and without possibilityof being yours
Tragedy Reigns
*****

For the rest of it,

"Hope has faded into a flask of glitter,
once a heap of shiny dust,
now reduced to a trace of sparkles.
Small insignificant trails on my hands and face
plaster a shattered smile of pretend,
and once again, no reward for me."


if I understand the intent,
it's the idea that a shining hope has
faded so much that all that's left is a trace
of hope/ a glimmer of hope that you cling to.

You plaster your face with that faint hope,
and pretend to be happy, while you're
really miserable. maybe miserable because of
this unrequited love thing you've got going on.

If I'm right, and that's what I thought the
intent was, but it doesn't really come across
that easily.

That said, I love the idea of it - and I like
ALOT of what you have so far.

Let me know what you think...

Robert aka rajengineer

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

Rajengineer
I have to say you get me too well, laughing. Especially if it did not come across too easily. I wrote, rewrote, tossed out, brought back in several lines and I am not sure I am all that happy with it. Here is the idea of the glitter part. As a girl (well maybe you have had this experience as well) I have worked with glitter, on a project, in make up etc... and you start off with tons of it, but even when you walk away and have washed off it lingers. Glitter that was on your hands seems to be on your face, shoulders, arms, just everywhere but only in very small traces. You can catch it when you are in the light. Same goes for love. It may start off in heaps, and sometimes you think you have walked away or forgotten but that trace never goes away. It is still there, whether you want it too or not, whether you've lost hope or not. It remains...

Thank you for taking so much time and really reading this. I appreciate it more than you know.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

Nae/glitter
Nae...We all long to love and be loved in return...It doesn't always happen..bits and pieces of that relationship stay with us forever...Flashbacks are heartbreaking ...We put on the fake smile and go on with our lives ...all the while...crying inside...You've done it again...love it...Kacee

( Posted by: nitz kitty [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

No Reward/Glitter
I can KINDA relate to the glitter (I have two daughters), but as a guy, it reminds me more of that lint I can't get off my shirt - that only shows up under the black lights of the night club... lol (it's been YEARS since I've been to a night club)

Also -

I'm glad that I kinda "get" you. You write so well, and you write about the things that really interest me. Love and relationships are key in my life - and they appear to be central to your life too. Wonderful. It's wonderful to be in love. But there's even a certain joy in the pain of loving others. Given a choice between having a broken heart and no heart to break, I'd choose be brokenhearted (and broken) EVERY time. It's the LIVING that makes me feel ALIVE.

I'm looking forward to reading more of your stuff.

Robert

( Posted by: rajengineer [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

Kacee and Robert
Miss Kacee, thank you. I love to see your face on my work or anywhere for that matter. It is always a pleasure hearing what you have to say.

Robert (sorry but your pen name is toooo long, lol), I guess two daughters will do it, no wonder you "get" glitter. I hear you about the lint on black, those suckers really glow in the dark!

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

Scalps?
I have been known to skin a head once or twice in my lifetime. Wink... are you scared now?

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

Nae
It reminds me that sometimes, no matter how hard I try things, or people, just will not turn out the way I want them to. I must remember I can never change people's hearts or attitudes, I can only hope to influence their behavior. Sometimes I just have to know when to cut the losses and move on.

I can see inside this poem, thank you.

BW

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

No reward.
Hi there!

Maybe I shouldn't see what's new on lit.org when I'm exhausted. I had to read this wonderful post a few times to get it really moving through my currently sluggish head. You really brought this one home to me.

I love your description of hope as glitter, and you're right - you start off with a huge pile, but the more you use it, the thinner it gets. Eventually, over the years, hope for unrequited love begins to disperse in much the same way. Sad, but lovely.

There is, however, a reward for you.

Your loss and pain have inspired you to create beauty in poetry. Your talent, and the saving grace of being able to express yourself so eloquently, is your reward.

( Posted by: chinadoll [Member] On: May 10, 2006 )

BWoz, Lucie, Chinadoll
BWoz thank you so much for reading and for getting something out of it.

Lucie, I can see the same scenario. Thank you my friend.

Chinadoll, thank you so much! Your comment was very sweet. I assure you I am smiling from ear to ear.

Nae

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 10, 2006 )

Fairplay NO WAY!
LMAO! That can't be! That would make me very underprivileged! Ivor told me he had a problem, you really did too??? Hmm, will have to check on that! Thank you very much.

Nae ;0)

( Posted by: nae411 [Member] On: May 31, 2006 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: