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I am angry. Very angry.
First, and most annoyingly, my ex-husband.
Our oldest child was in her first year at university this year. It could have cost us musciplicitious bucks, but because she had been such a good student, and because of choices I made to live in a pit of a town in a very rural area, she entered a school that is ivy league comparable. T. Jefferson set it up as so. It is, no doubt, an excellant place of education. Beyond this, she recieved scholarships. What could easly be a $40,000 a year education, we pay $6K. That's 3K each. The bastard won't pay his share. He makes me sick.
After highering an attorney, he finally paid $1500, with the promise to pay $500 for the following three months, March, April, May...
Can we guess? No truth to his words, no money to my bank account. (After a phone-call from my attorney he did send a check for $219.25, WTF is that?)

Now he has sent a copy of a dentist bill for $7hundred and something and is declaring that his payment to this bill should devoid his financial obligation to the tuition. (He was court-ordered to maintain health and dental insurance)
I am so sick and tired of trying to explain to this numbnut what is reality and what is not. His kids refer to him as the "sperm donor" and that is not by my requisite, but their observation.
I need to vent WHAT A MORON!
We have been divorced for ten years. Our kids were aged 4 and 9, now 14 and 19. In the ten years I have had full custody I have taken good care of them. This means they have been to the doctor, not only when sick, but for well-visits. They have been to the dentist. They have been taken care of. I never wanted to nickle-and-dime their care, but now he has opened a can of worms.
Funny thing is his $700 dental bill was for getting their teeth "sealed" and I had that done a year before- and I have the bill to back it up!

In order to avoid paying me the $1500 that he owes me, he has now incurred a suit that will cost him at least $3500, plus attorney fees which are court ordered to be the resposibility of the negligent party. He has also, again, lost the affection and respect of his children.

Personally, I'd like to shoot him, but not until we go to court and make sure that he finally has the court-ordered life insurance with the kids as beneficiaries...
When I shoot him, I will not aim for the heart. (I don't think he has one anyway!) I think I'll start with the feet, to get him still, and then work my way around to see him squirm the most. I'm not usually this mean, but he deserves so much worse than me.

I think we'll stop with this first thought tonight. Second will only make me want to hurt someone... and if he's not directly in my sights, well, what's the point!

Elizabeth Maksymiuk

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The following comments are for "Opposite of love is Payback"
by emaks

opposite of love is payback
it's good to get out anger but then after writing let it go. don't let it eat you alive. Let it go. I wish you luck. Don't worry be happy because it is within your power to make it so.

( Posted by: unseenwriterx [Member] On: May 3, 2006 )

Elizabeth, I know how you a ex left me after my kids were grown but when they were young they all needed braces...and he said the dentists were money grubbers and braces were cosmetic and he wouldn't pay...if my kids wanted to go on to school they had to leave and go on welfare or to the Navy to get an education...then he turns around and helps his girlfriend's (now wife's) daughter go to college and by the way she had braces...and I'm sure he made some payments on them.. Sperm too good for one time my thoughts turned to murder...but he wasn't worth going to jail for I went on with my life and am happier for it...I found out that he's not quite so happy......It's all about CHOICES...I pray this will all work out for you...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: May 3, 2006 )

Unseen, Lucie, Kacee- Payback
Argghhhh!!! Thanks to you all for your sympathetic virtual shoulders...
Funny, I had a chance to watch him die. He was never a very "handy" guy. I remember one time my cousin telling me she was going to send me a clown for my birthday, but decided we could get a better laugh from pulling up lawn chairs and watching him try to 'fix' something.
Anyway, he decided to fix our broken garage door. He snipped a cable, and the double door, weighing well over 500 lbs rattled off the track and landed on him! I immediately (really) had the little angle on one shoulder, and the devil on the other. The devil kept saying "just jump on the door!" He had over $250K in life insurance at the time. The angel won, however, reminding me that I would never be happy with myself if I did something so beyond myself. A neighbor came running, one who I'm sure would have gladly jumped with me, but instead we lifted the door and tended to the injured ass.
There are times, like this, that I second guess that decision. But alas, he would win if I did behave like that, and truly he is the loser.
I have to believe that one day, in this life or another, he will come to see what a jerk he is.
Lucie, think less of you for not having to experience such as this? Oh, no! Glad for you!
Kacee, sounds like you can relate!
My real frustration lies in the fact that my baby will enter high-school next year so I can anticipate dealing with this crap for at least the next 8 years. Pray for me. I may shoot him yet- (but I think the judge would probably give me a nod of approval! -and maybe community service, time counted!)
Thanks ya'll for your love and support.

Gotta go to target practise now- ;)

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 3, 2006 )

Virtual Shoulder
"Comfort comes from all angles, yet each one is comforting. A devil may comfort you with words of ill ease, yet if it soothes the soul then listen gladly to the lull of a diabolic harp. The shoulder of comfort should not be doubted in times of need, rather it should be accepted, and only fathomed in later times, especially when the moment of hurt has been washed away."

Emark, I wish you hope. Hope that karma will play out the way it naturally does, and hope that you will always be a ray of sunshine in the eyes of your kin.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: May 6, 2006 )

Siah, Shouldres that deliver from payback!
Siah, glad you sought something of mine out, but I can point out much better examples than this angry blurb- None-the-less, your response is very welcome.
I agree, even sometimes the evil energies speak to what we should react to.
Again, in quotation marks you confuse me. Based on what you've spoken to me, they are your words. Quotation marks, to me imply they are the words of another... regardless, they are powerful and beautiful. If I were you, I would want to claim them, and not leave a questionmark there-
I agree, entirely, that diabolic words can still send a definitive message. One that leaves you following their advice, or waking you to the dark that underlies all light. And how can one trully look to light without also seeing the opposing darkness?
Again, and more so, I am reminded of Gibran. Send me (by pm) your address and I will send you a copy of "The Prophet". I think you will love it. He was a poet of the late 19th century, of asiatic/indian origin and his words are some no true poet should be ignorant of...
Your background, Siah, is so different than mine, but what is proved to me is that no matter the background,poets are the most human on our planet. We speak of truth unlike any others.
Thanks for looking at this- I'd prefer you check out poetry and haiku to get a better glimpse at me. (This was angry crap!)

blessings to Percy!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 6, 2006 )

It is a good thing to vent this for your own sanity. I also agree that your ex is not fulfilling his obligation. I hope you get more out of him.


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: May 13, 2006 )

A scorned woman, like payback, is a bitch (and rightfully so)

Windchime stole my line! I don't know if I'm beginning to rub off on her or vice of verse.

Let the pig shoot himself in the foot.


Legal wrangling can take years, and collecting any court-ordered awards can be problematic as well. Perhaps student loans could bridge the gap until you can finally squeeze some blood from this turnip.

(Please note that I commiserated with your feelings prior to my stereotypical male problem-solving response.)

p.s.- You might consider knocking his teeth out with a blunt instrument, thereby providing him with a legitimate dental bill to pay.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: May 14, 2006 )

BW, Soos-
Busy of late, partly because it takes time to track down this ex of mine and try to collect money, and try not to think about collecting a bit of blood as well...
Thank you for comiserating with me. As*holes are hardly worth the time they require.
I heard something recently that I think is worth sharing... remember the old phrase : "Why would he buy the whole cow when he's getting the milk for free?" (I always hated being referred to as a cow...) The 21st century version: "Why should she buy the whole pig, when all she really wants is a bit of sausage?"! Your good company is excluded, but it made me laugh!
Thanks for your looking in on me. Hope to have more time for reading here soon!
best to you-

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 15, 2006 )

I have the first clue about picking a man...See how he treats his mom and other women in his family...Or women in the waitress at a restaurant...and YOU of course...If he tries to control every part of your life...TURN AND RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN...I know women can be the same way...BUT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MEN, NOW....Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: May 15, 2006 )

Eric, Kacee, Live and Learn
Stopping in to respond to your kind comments to me. Wish I had time to stay. My recent kidney recipient friend is more important than muse or reading right now...
Eric, I think that you have a great idea here, about sharing my hard earned wisdom-
Actually, he was very charming and sweet, and had me COMPLETELY fooled. For the year and 1/2 I dated/was engaged to him he wined and dined me and treated me like a queen. The DAY we got married, everything changed, but I had made a commitment and a vow. I took that seriously. Turned out, too much so.

Kacee, you are absolutely right! A very stronger indicator is the treatment of other important woman. He was good, though. Treated them very nicely, in front of me, and no one bothered to clue me in until after that alter-walk...

Actually, he's still a "really nice guy", as long as he gets his way...
Ah, well, live and learn, and teach your daughters what to look out for!
(BTW, I have a nice guy now ;) !
best to you and thankd for caring about my little life-
I know there are good men out there. He's the only "piece of work" of ever had the mis-fortune to meet. Sadly, we were married for 15 years before I gave up. (I don't know if I'm just astubborn bitch, or if my Catholic upbringing had more weight!)
Good attributes? He was a good dancer- hardly the stuff of a memory box!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 15, 2006 )

As I was typing this last comment I was being harrangued- 'Grey's Annatomy' had just finished, and the internet was a much needed commodity, and so I rushed through to make it available- rushed so that I didn't look to see what kind of spelling errors I had, cause, in truth (and I can see it) who cares about such quibly little stuff! Please overlook, and realize there are much more important things in my universe! (especially to my 19 year old daughter! And I love her, so, that's good enough for me!)
Blessings all- hope to be back much more soon!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 15, 2006 )

BTW, you are as handsome a "bloke" as your brother! Nice to see you, Eric!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 16, 2006 )

You were always kind and generous with your support during some of my difficult times that you knew of through my poetry and comments to you, so in return I would like you to know that I sincerely wish you the BEST of everything. You do deserve it.

You may not believe this, but through all the difficulties in the marriage, YOU are the one who came out shows that you are not the coward he turned out to be. You FACE your responsibilities and then some, and you genuinely CARE of those around you whose lives have touched yours.....and now inturn you touch theirs.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your kindness you showed me Elizabeth.


( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: May 16, 2006 )

Dar- How sweet are you!
Dar, seems we are sharing internet time right now, and must tell you, you brought me tears with your kindness- It can all seem overwhelming at times, as you know. To have friends, even those who "only" know you through cyber-space, can actually feel closer than those who are here daily to judge and bitch.
I hope you know Darlene that I keep you in my daily blessings. Have missed your postings but realize you do what you can- I think you are an amazing woman, and I hope to get up to your part of the world sometime to hug you in person! (Gotta wait for summer and good gas prices), but meanwhile- virtual hugs to my friend. Hope you are well, and thankks for your good thoughts- back at ya baby!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 16, 2006 )

Yes Elizabeth, its 3:05 a.m.
I am having a difficult time falling asleep, so I thought I'd come by here and see what was going on, that Song Title thread caught my eye as well as your name.
I read this the other day but was ill, so I couldn't stay long enough to read it thoroughly...nor to say what I wanted to.

Make sure to drop my a line sometime Ok? Talk with you soon, but I'd like to keep in touch....I know we are both quite busy, I hear from Lucie once in a while as well......and Nae, but that is not too often either,,,,just enough I guess LOL. We are all so busy outside of here, but I thought it would be nice,
Take care and hang in there!!!!!! Thanks for your reply too!


( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: May 16, 2006 )

Darlene XO
Love to you Darlene-
hope you get some sleep (me too!)

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: May 16, 2006 )

Living Well Is The Best Revenge
Chin up Emaks! No one has any control over what you think, feel or say. How you choose to respond to foul balls that get thrown your way is all within your power. My mother said, "Don't get mad, get even, by living well and being happy" xox :}

( Posted by: Legs [Member] On: June 16, 2006 )

Legs - a*sholes
Your mother had great advice! No worries, Legs-
I blogged that day to get it off my chest. He's an asshole. Period. I have better things to do than think about him.
Thanks for looking in on me, and thanks for your empathy and wisdom,
best to you-

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: June 19, 2006 )

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