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Cold, wet rain falls hard
As I stand beside her.
She brushes against me
The soft, liquid scent of her skin and long dark hair
Perfumes the moist surrounding fog.
Her hand grazes mine,
My heart shimmers,
Anguish over my feeling.
I stare at her lips
The water streaming down her face,
The tears falling down mine.
The truth kills the soul
While deception is my shield from the world.
Her spirit is free,
Content is spread out in her eyes
As I stare at her.


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Comments

The following comments are for "Her"
by 100 Bullets

Thank You !

Thank You Ms. Jessica !

It's a real honour to have a "Top Dog" really like your work.
I just wrote from the heart, talking about a current experience of mine.
I feel that the best work comes from what you feel and this especially goes with poetry.

Thank you once again for the positive comment !

Cheers

K.

( Posted by: 100 Bullets [Member] On: September 29, 2002 )

Nice
A good idea.

I was drawn back by 'grazes', though. Are you sure this is the right word?

--Jasmine

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: September 30, 2002 )

Re: Jessica
It may be that 100 Bullets meant this. But, to me, the word 'grazes' conjures images of scraped scabby knees and the stinging of a detox soaked cotton ball...

It just didn't work for me...

The poem as a whole is great, groovy, smashing. Just this one word took me aback.

--Jasmine

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: September 30, 2002 )

Blubb blubb blubb
*Melts*

Wow...That was amazing. I don't really know what to say. *Sheepish*

( Posted by: kambriel [Member] On: June 24, 2003 )

A heart felt bullet
the sensuality of the soul filled words made mine shatter with a few drops of the tears and the rain with you both... what sweet agony
Bravo

( Posted by: soulreflection [Member] On: March 3, 2006 )





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