Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
8

(1 votes)


RatingRated by
8Unknown

You must login to vote

She murmurs medicine
from five hundred miles away
while I lie bone weary
eyes tight against my pain.
Her gold whiskey voice,
so smooth as it soothes
submerges me by inches
rocking me beneath it's waves.
I struggle against
the undertow of approaching dreams
but her voice is gentle, insistant
and I surrender myself
drowning in her tidal
embracing sound.

------
Smile if you're stupid,
laugh if you understand.


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Murmur"
by Bartleby

to Bartleby
Wonderful poem, and flowing imagery. For some reason I'm imagine the sea for this, except the "golden whiskey voice" put me slightly off at first. Nonethelss it fits. I think this is one of those individually applicable poems, great job.

( Posted by: Furius [Member] On: September 27, 2002 )

Yes!
Oh, how relaxing it was reading this poem!

I swear to you, I heard the sound.

I liked this alot, it has a lovely, leisurely pace to it which is perfect for what it dscribes.

Well written, Bartelby!

--Jasmine

( Posted by: Jasmine [Member] On: September 28, 2002 )

one word
Beautiful!

( Posted by: josey [Member] On: September 28, 2002 )

Mega !

Very flowing and expressive. I love the way you really concentrate on the senses and how the main focus feels.

Mega job !

100 B.

( Posted by: 100 Bullets [Member] On: September 30, 2002 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: