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She watched as the shadow cast by the last remaining candle not yet extinguished with the progressing hours of the evening, danced on the ceiling. She continued to make soft, circular patterns with her hand over the now relaxed muscles of his back even though she was certain this time he was asleep. Her body lay closely alongside his with his face turned from hers. She listened to the deep, steady rhythm of his breathing as her lover slept. He made love in a way only those with scars etched deep within their souls can with intensity, passion and gentleness fueled by the secret longing that this intimate encounter would be the one to finally wash away the past and purge the demons, allowing him to emerge clean and strong and unscathed as he once had been. But now she lay here in the soft, wrinkled sheets of the bed they had shared, caressing him still and wondering what scene may be playing in the nocturnal matinee of his dreams.

She believed him to be asleep earlier and had gently touched his face, wanting to trace the outline of his features but had not expected to encounter the damp wetness of a tear as it slid silently down his cheek. He did not move and made no sound, only reached back, placed his hand over hers and engulfed it with a gentle squeeze. She pulled herself close and held him, wondering if this tear fell for the past, the present or the future. She did not ask, only held tightly until he escaped into the sanctuary of sleep.

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The following comments are for "Sleep"
by AverageEnglishman

That was nice. You have a talent for describing. That's kind of rare.

( Posted by: rocky [Member] On: April 15, 2006 )

Thank you both for you comments. This was my first posting so I was a bit concerned that I may not be able to accept others' opinions as well as I had hoped. Starting out with two positive comments helps a lot!

Thanks again,

( Posted by: AverageEnglishman [Member] On: April 18, 2006 )

That was awesome!! You've really got something special in that head of yours.(your talent for writing, I mean) I look forward to your next posting!

( Posted by: SingChi [Member] On: April 18, 2006 )

Good, simple, straight forward prose under tight control. This is what I try to get my Introduction to Fiction Writing students to do. "Use concrete details to paint an image. Image is thought. Image is emotion. Image is showing not telling." Can you do it again?

( Posted by: ScottDelaney [Member] On: April 26, 2006 )

An overdue thanks
SingChi and Scott,

I apologize for the delay (I've got this annoying thing called a job that requires so much of my time!) but wanted to thank you both for your comments. If you have time, please read my other posts and comment positively or negatively, every bit of input helps.

Thanks again.


( Posted by: AverageEnglishman [Member] On: August 23, 2006 )

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