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Yellow faces wink
within brilliant white fringes
Daisies dance I sing

------
Elizabeth Maksymiuk


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Comments

The following comments are for "Summer Evidence"
by emaks

Lucie, daisies-
You get me so- I've noticed you "get" many. You have a gift of poetic spirit, I think. You write so well, and you read hearts. You always read my heart.
How cool that you knew I wanted title. (there's a story here, but I'm on alert, so you will have to use your imagination.I have a young teenager- nuff said!)
I love "Evident". It is perfect. Thank you! Love to all and daisies, everywhere!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 7, 2006 )

Spring Smiles...
Elizabeth, you got it, girl...I love Haiku, this is an excellent expression.

Robin

( Posted by: Robinbird [Member] On: April 7, 2006 )

Song and dance
Love the blithe, unpunctuated compression in the final line of this haiku: 'Daisies dance, I sing' would be merely trite, but 'Daisies dance I sing' is trippy-cool, and as Lucie stated, so much more evocative...

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: April 8, 2006 )

ahh haiku
honey you make me smile with this sweet haiku...I want to dance too.

( Posted by: castanedalupe [Member] On: April 8, 2006 )

Haiku
Elizabeth,

a very good haiku. I have only recently attempted Haiku, and find it very difficult to make a good contrasting statement like "Daisies dance I sing" Very good. I'll keep trying
bw

( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: April 11, 2006 )

daisy haiku
Robin! It is so nice to see you! I have read your recent submissions, but haven't had time to adequately do them justice. I will be by when time permits. You sound good. Hope you are. Spring is uplifting and I send you my best thoughts for a rejuvenated spirit at this time of renewal!
Caitlin, I remember your poem about your brother. It touched me. Your words, both submitted and in comments- carry truth, poetry, and weight. I appreciate your comments about my submissions.
I think most haiku should be tested against punctuation. The simplicity of form allows for the interpretation, and should hold up with each. I think true haiku, ie. natural world, is easier for universal feelings. Easy to invoke the "nature" of nature... Senryu, or however it's spelled, is a bit more difficult. I mean the haiku form about "human nature". Bobby 7L is a master at this site, experimenting in all kinds of "ku-ish" word plays.
I am more traditional in my haiku. It is not for any reason other than trying to follow "rules" in art-play. It makes for good practice. Same rule holds true in graphic arts, or music, or I suspect any art form. My studies were in graphic art. Please, some time, look at my haiku "Evanescent"- for my brother.
TC you seem like sunshine whenever you show up. We should get a lit dance going! Maybe Ivor will see this and start a spring fling!
Brian, I have seen and admired your offerings here. Have little time now, but fully intend to read more and comment much more! Thanks for reading and commenting!
to all- best blessings-
Elizabeth

thanks for commenting on my offerings. appreciate!

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: April 19, 2006 )

Sunshine
a lake of sunshine
light as far as the eye sees
Daisies dance I sing.

( Posted by: Siah [Member] On: May 7, 2006 )





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