Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
0.00

(0 votes)

You must login to vote

Hate wrought in bone
Vibrating along puissant edges
Of razor flavored words

Pain like December
Numbed by fear
And driven to extinction

Extinguished tears
Of a dying language
Echoing into ether

And all those that hear
Listen with stone ears

Inadequate conduits
For divine vibrations

Things better left remembered
But never said

soulshade777@comcast.net

------
"It is considered rude to silence a fool, but cruel to let him go on."


Related Items

Comments

The following comments are for "Things Better Left Remembered"
by SoulShade

Bare bones and stone ears
There's some really striking imagery in this poem: I particularly liked the powerful sadness in the 'stone ears' stanza (the following lines seem a bit contrived by comparison, but that's personal preference).

I struggled a bit with the poem's very abstract form... perhaps intentional, but I wonder if I'd feel more satified knowing what you were really trying to say. Are the hate, pain and tears the things better-unsaid? (Divine despite being negative?) If so, why? Whose are they?

Oh, and I'd drop the 'but' in the final line. Much stronger without it, I think.

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: April 8, 2006 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: