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The moment that you realize that you aren’t happy is the greatest moment of your life. The confusion, the anger and the depression are just stepping stones to what you feel at complete realization.
You wake up and tell yourself today is the day that I will change. At least that’s what I thought. Then I found myself in the fetal position pant less, beaten and pissed on cradling myself between a curb and cement steps of an ally way in the middle of an animal pharmacy and a 7-eleven, I always thought things were getting better. What a concept, tings getting better. This person who decided to do this to me, well, he must have not seen my concept.
The cops would tell me that the pant thieving mugger was a homeless, half insane, bum. Looking for money. My situation seemed urgent enough for an ambulance. Though, the paramedics told me the worst thing that happen other then a black eye and minor concussion was the fact that I got pissed on..
“Did you taste it?” asked one paramedic. I just looked at him. He walked away. I could tell he was trying not to laugh. The cops gave me a pair of sweat pants. They had a PD symbol on them. Should I feel special now? I declined any escort back to my apartment. These things happen, I would tell myself. It was then that I realized I wasn’t happy and it just wasn’t the smell of my urine soaked head either. That incident made me think of death.
“If I had died,” I asked myself “Would it matter?” I thought of the wife I didn’t have. The nice care I didn’t drive. The down goose feather I didn’t sleep under. I realized, if I died no one would care.
Louie B. Tunnell