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Little Josy kneels against her bed with her hands together pointing up towards the ceiling. “Just one day, just one time”, she cries as tears ripple down her face drenching her unwashed sheets.

Screams of blood and pain echo up the long staircase and the constant pounding keeps reverberating through the walls.

Josy’s father, a beast of a man, Robert as many call him, takes pride in slaughtering his victims, tearing them apart and making them beg and scream for pure pleasure, pure disgusting pleasure.

Body parts litter the kitchen table and blood covers every surface. Robert stands with a blood-stained cleaver in his hand and a grin on his face. The mince meat he just made of the man lying on the table gives something to him that only he will know.

Josy clenches her wet sheet as the house goes silent, no more pain and no more blood. She stops crying and listens, her heart racing and pounding in her little chest.

Covered in blood from head to toe, the butcher stomps up the staircase. He grunts and moans with every step calling his daughter’s name, “Josy--”, “come on out--”, “it’s dinner time.”

She stands up and wipes her eyes, rushing around, gathering her clothes and stuffing them into an old broken suitcase.

The monster knocks on her door but Josy doesn’t answer. “Ya not gonna make me angry again are ya--”, “ya know what happens when I get angry.”

He knocks again, still getting no response and begins to get very agitated and upset. “That’s it you little whore”.

The door crashes to the floor as he bashes it with both hands. He walks in finding an empty room; the curtain blows up from the wind entering through the open window. The moonlight shines in onto the bare wooden floorboards and the wind and rain scream outside.

With all his might and strength the monster tears the room apart, upturning the bed and pushing down wardrobes and tables. The rage inside him intensifies with every thrust until he can no longer bare it. He falls to his knees right where Josy was, crying with his face in his hands, feeling pity for his only daughter.

Josy left, she left for good this time. No more pain, no more terror in her dreams, she’s free, but with nowhere to go.

The rain gushers down from the black heavens above enslaving the dirt road and the one street lamp beneath it. The trees whisper a soft growl as the wind passes through them.

Out of the blackness comes running a little figure, looks like a little girl. The bag she carries alters her balance as she sprints down the road.

Little Josy has escaped and she only thinks about getting away. Her bare feet grind into the ground below and her wet hair clings to her face. She wipes the water from her eyes and pushes herself with absolute determination; a rare trait for a nine-year old.

The train is late tonight, but just on time for Josy to catch it. She slips in the side carriage when no one is watching and curls herself as tightly as possible to attain just that little bit more warmth.

She keeps one eye open as she watches the light above, waiting for green. That’s when it’s final, that’s when the life she once knew will be lost and hopefully driven deep underground where no one can find it.

Finally the light flashes green and the signal is ordered to depart. The train starts edging forward when a voice from the other end of the platform yells, “We have a rider!” The breaks are heard being forced into action and the train comes to a complete halt. Coach guards run towards the back end of the train searching for a rider-- a term used for someone who hasn’t purchased a ticket.

Josy’s heart pounds once again and she pushes herself even further into the floor boards, hoping that nobody will notice her.

She hears someone sprinting down the other side of the train. She looks up and a boy, about her age, jumps into the carriage and ducks down under some dirty wheat bags.
She doesn’t know whether to be happy or more terrified. If they find him they will find her, but the fact that she’s not alone in this gives her some unknown hope that perhaps it will be alright.

She looks through a little crack where the carriage walls meet and sees the guards dragging a man into the nearby station cabin and a man yelling, “All aboard!”

The train starts edging forward once again. This time no one shouts and the train picks up pace sliding along the railway line.

Josy settles down and is about to stand up when she remembers the boy jumping in earlier. Looking around the carriage and not really knowing what to say she whispers, “Who are you?” but gets no reply. “It’s not going to do nobody no good you just keeping quiet, I know you’re there.”

Finally a voice whispers, “Where did you come from?”

“I was in here before you”, Josy explains.

“I didn’t see you.” the boy answers.

“I saw you jump in, was wondering whether to tell on you or not.”

The boy sniggers and then mutters, “Would do you no good, you’d be in the same keep as me then, best to keep to yourself.” He pops his head out from under the wheat bags and sticks his hand out to greet Josy, “I’m Ben.”

Josy shakes his hand and answers, “Josy.”

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The following comments are for "A Better Life"
by mrRidd

Better life

A very easy piece to get into. Really good action, and imagery. The monster is truly evil in the sense of "The Shining", or something similar. Not that I compare this to Steven King, but the fast pace really pulled me in and kept me reading. I can see this a really great start to an action/adventure/thriller/chiller type novel. In less than 1000 words you have introduced two very determined, young, game for the action main characters and a hideous monster that may or may not be chasing them.

Hey, they already made one escape...I wonder, whats the boy's story?

great piece.


( Posted by: BWOz [Member] On: March 27, 2006 )

Thanks a lot BWOz. I'm still deciding whether to turn it into something more. I wrote it as practise to get my writing skills up before a dive straight into writing a novel or something similar.

( Posted by: mrRidd [Member] On: March 28, 2006 )

No comments on structure or anything like that...
It simply felt real.
I'll take the rest of that ride anytime.

( Posted by: monkpeabody [Member] On: March 28, 2006 )

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