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there is no touching,
no smiling nor kissing allowed
unless you cease penetrating my world with you lies

Sua sponte,

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The following comments are for "- new rules -"
by City

city/ French line drawn
city- Interesting read.

I assume you mean "'your' lies" in final line.

Found line breaks a bit awkward. Perhaps if "allowed " ended line 2 and "you cease 'penetrating'" ended line 3, it would flow better. Just a suggestion.


( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: March 26, 2006 )

Bobby7L , thanks!
will make some corrections

( Posted by: City [Member] On: March 26, 2006 )

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