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The fog of tomorrow encloses me
Life's blanket of unsureness
The road is lost
I know not which way to turn

I cannot see through the fog
My steps are unsure
Forward I march on
Like a blind man not knowing the way


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The following comments are for "The Road Ahead"
by appleblossom

Life
I'd have to say that you capture the feeling of uncertainty well with your words. I think that this might have been a hastily written peice and/or your are writing about a situation that you are so immersed in that you can't veiw it objectivly enough to get a good veiw of it. This is a peice with what I think is a lot of promise; try and find metaphors and descriptions for your experiences that will allow the reader to more completely feel what you do. Poetry is our hearts, still beating, flung onto a page. That life seems to be lacking here, but it is a great start.
Something else to keep in mind is that this is all my opinion; you know if the poem is what you want it to be. If I say it's no good and it is all that you want, please don't listen to me!

( Posted by: The Recycled Avatar [Member] On: October 25, 2002 )





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