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[Rated - "R" - contains adult situations]


It was dark
and she said "Trust me"
and she crawled up on top me
and did me the dirty
til I laid there helpless
and she fished out my wallet
and extracted the money
and tossed it beside
my unconscious body
and then crawled away

I couldn't stop her
you gotta help me
it's all I had for the rent

I lost my apartment
and slept in my car
till they towed it away
and I had to come to this shelter

but I got a job
and worked three months
to save up the money
for three months rent
and got me a room
and had a place
to rest the body,
and, as I slept,

it was dark -

and she said "Trust me"
and she crawled up on top me
and did me the dirty
til I laid there helpless
and she fished out my wallet
and extracted the money
and tossed it beside
my unconscious body
and then crawled away

I couldn't stop her
you gotta help me
it's all I had for the rent

you gotta believe me
you're my shrink,
my only hope
and I keep having these flashbacks
it was long ago
and we mighta been hippies
amd she mighta drugged me, but

it was dark -

and she said "Trust me"
and she crawled up on top me
and did me the dirty
til I laid there helpless
and she fished out my wallet
and extracted the money
and tossed it beside
my unconscious body
and then crawled away

I couldn't stop her
you gotta help me
it's all I had for the rent

I musta been traumatized
I can't remember
it coulda been long ago
or just yesterday
I coulda been drinking
I coulda been doping
or just making excuses, but

it was dark
and she said "Trust me"





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Comments

The following comments are for "She said, "Trust me""
by johnlibertus

I thought about it

I recognized the ambiguity of the subject to the verb 'tossed' when I was writing it, then decided it didn't matter, that the reader would understand it, just like you did, and this construction permitted me not to have to repeat the word 'wallet.'

I also presumed the reader would understand that I would discover the empty wallet beside me upon regaining consciousness, and guess that it was 'tossed' there after being emptied. I know that any woman that did this to me would have to crawl away, she certainly wouldn't be able to walk.

I hadn't considered that she might be the shrink.

The problem ain't the drugs, it's the woman who keeps saying "Trust me."




( Posted by: johnlibertus [Member] On: March 20, 2006 )

Sorry John
Good poem but I think the drugs and booze definately have something to do with you trusting this woman over and over...Steal from me once shame on you...Steal from me twice ...shame on me...Steal from me thrice...I better get some rehab...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: March 20, 2006 )

I don't understand
I wrote this because I thought it was funny, but it has no parallel in my personal life at all. None. This is not happening to me, nor has it ever happened to me.

What's funny about it, to me, is that it keeps happening to the narrator, due to his basic attraction to, and trust of, women. I intended to suggest that it keeps happening to him with different women, serially, but apparently I didn't get that across.

The original inspiration for this was a famous song of Harry Belafonte, from the 1950s:

"Matilda, she take me money
and run Venezuela

Well, the money was just beside me bed
stuffed up in a pillow beneath me head

Matilda, she take me money
and run Venezuela"

It reminds me, also, of Samson's wanting so badly to trust Delia that he three times trusted her, and she betrayed him each time. Talk about turning the other cheek.

As for me personally, I've been celibate for 23 years, ever since my wife had the stroke that hospitalized us for the two years that passed before she died. Matilda has not been in my wallet or my bed. You can credit the preceeding to my imagination, and feel no worry about my need for rehab.

I must say I'm distinctly disappointed that you didn't see the joke in this. To me, the narrator not learning from these experiences, due to his attraction to, and trust of, women, is hilarious.

Oh, well.



( Posted by: johnlibertus [Member] On: March 20, 2006 )

Sorry again John
I thought your poem was very good...but I don't understand what is so funny about a man who keeps getting ripped off ...to the tune of loosing his apt. and forced to live in his car then to have his car towed away and forced to live in a homeless shelter...I guess we just have a different sense of humor...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: March 20, 2006 )

no problem, Kacee
I pretested this piece on my year-younger sister (she's 61) via email, and she said it was hilarious.

Trying to understand why you didn't, I turned it around, and thought of a number of women I know who have repeatedly trusted men in bed, hoping it might lead to a loving relationship, and had the man rip them off financially and leave them feeling they'd been used.

And I guess I don't find that funny either.

It's just that I've had so many women come on to me since Angelina died that I find it funny that some people would engage in hopeful sexual experimentalism before they know each other's devotion. It's like a form of gambling, with your soul on the line. Most of the women who've come on to me since I was 40 (literally dozens, over 23 years) have been married, or similarly committed, and of course, I haven't responded.

Compared to the deady seriousness of what I've been through, the loss of time, energy and a few bucks I've described in this piece, are merely amusing.

( Posted by: johnlibertus [Member] On: March 20, 2006 )

John
I left a message in your personal mail...Kacee

( Posted by: Nitz Kitty [Member] On: March 21, 2006 )

John's folly!
Hey John...I thought it was Hilairous myself.

The mere fact that he kept repeating the same mistake over and over again, somehow was humerous to me...after all...we all know MEN are the weaker sex!

I just recognized it for what it was...a tongue in cheek (I surmised) little ditty!

Really enjoyed it John!

Bea




( Posted by: Beatrice Boyle [Member] On: March 21, 2006 )

...

Thanks, Bea, glad you enjoyed it.

Men aren't the weaker sex, we're the DUMBER sex. Testosterone has no brains, a fact all four of us clearly agree on.

Sorry about that last sentence ending with a preposition, Lucie.

( Posted by: johnlibertus [Member] On: March 22, 2006 )

Trust me, John
This is/was a cool poem, John. Cool Whip cool. It flows well and incites the reader to gallop to each stanza to see if "you" learned anything."You" never did. Great. You have got to read this at Red Sky. It'll crack 'em up.

Later,
charlie

( Posted by: williamhill [Member] On: March 23, 2006 )

Trusting
Both poem and comments made me giggle.
"Trust me", hell, I could write a female version, but I do have blood flowing to all body parts at same time ;)

Thanks for this way to depart Lit this evening!

Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: March 23, 2006 )

every now and then
i like to find out what the "most read poem of the moment" is...and yours is it.

it's rather controversial considering the comments its received.

i enjoyed it.

j.jd.

4:32pm
3/25/06

( Posted by: johnjohndoe [Member] On: March 25, 2006 )

...

Oui, c'est vrai, Pen. Charlie, JJD, Elizabeth, my thanks for the comments, glad you got a chuckle from it.

( Posted by: johnlibertus [Member] On: March 26, 2006 )

royal rip off
Eric,

:))))))))))))))))))))

( Posted by: City [Member] On: March 26, 2006 )

Chump
Maybe everybody's being too hard on the chump in this poem. Can't blame someone for yearning and searching for a little love - a little creature comfort.

Although he oughta put his real money in his shoe and stuff his wallet with Monopoly money, just in case.

Then again, the grifter would probably make off with both.

( Posted by: gomarsoap [Member] On: June 22, 2006 )





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