Random thoughts III
by crackpotpoet (Member) - published: March 18, 2006
Word Count: 101 Word Bytes: 847 Viewed: 335 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by crackpotpoet

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I am,
not sure what but,
I know that I am here.
I must have something to do here.
But what?

C.D.
spinning, spinning.
Always when I press play.
It relievs the stress of the day.
Relaxed.

Your eyes,
E'er on my mind.
I feel the love within.
The honesty overwhelms me.
Perfect.

Thou art,
My greatest wish,
And purest desire.
Just ask and ye shall recieve.
Boundless.

Your hair,
When it duth flow.
More fragrent then roses.
Caressing your beautiful face.
Beauty.

Without,
You I am not,
worthy to live this life.
My love you are my everything.
E'er mine.

------
To live ones life free from the constraints of judgement is truely bliss.

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Comments

The following comments are for "Random thoughts III"
by crackpotpoet

Random thoughts
Problems: you need to correct your many spelling mistakes. Also, you need to answer the question posed in the first cinquain. The reader (this one, at least) expects it.
Even when the thoughts are random and do not intend to return to the first thought expressed. Even then , the reader expects it. It is part of the crafting process of the poem. Perhaps this poem needs another draft?

Good points: the your eyes cinquain. The reader feels the union, the unity in this. Also, the thou art cinquain: it affirms the divinity in both the "I" and the "thou". This reader finds solace there.

( Posted by: windchime [Member] On: March 19, 2006 )

miunderstanding
While I value your insite, I also feel I must point out that the context of these poems has only one way it should be interpreted, and many taht it can. For starters, the last four. They have no deep meanings, they are merely praising the physical atributes of my girlfriend. That and expressing how I feel about her.
About the spelling mistakes, I really thought I had gotten all of them. Mabey I do need a proffreader. I checked twice, Oh well.
The poem about the cd is completely open to interpretation.
The first however, is not ment to answer a question about myself, it is to ask one of the reader. The question being, 'what is the reason I chose to live for?'. For me, it is my girl, and my sister. My nephew, and my niece. And of course the king of kings, my lord and savior, Jesus Christ.
Thank you again for you critiques. And my spelling is terible.

( Posted by: crackpotpoet [Member] On: March 20, 2006 )

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