The Ewe Speaks!!!
by witchy woman (Member) - published: March 14, 2006
Word Count: 111 Word Bytes: 674 Viewed: 735 times
Category - Poetry
© Copyright by witchy woman

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10	Legs

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"Hey, pretty sheep, come close to me
I have something you need to see!"
I never thought I had to fear
So I ventured very near.

I've never been the same since then
I cower in my old sheep pen.
And when its dark I get a chill
And feel I'll be completely ill.

I hear the old screen door slam.
Alas, it is Dirty Old Man.
He's come for me again tonight
He feels I am his hear's delight.

But tonight, I'm full of faith and hope
I can't wait to cheer and gloat.
For once he's rid of his trench coat
He'll see I switched with Billy Goat!

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Comments

The following comments are for "The Ewe Speaks!!!"
by witchy woman

hee hee
loved this one! really funny.

( Posted by: dirtyoldman [Member] On: March 14, 2006 )

Mutton dressed as Lamb
Ewe silly sheep, do ewe not know,
The ram itself will have a go,
With two long horns to ram his 'butt'
They'll both thank you, you silly slut.

Tonight forget the faith and hope,
More like a threesome, ewe man and goat.
Woolly jumper, horny ram,
This night you'll be a Sheep.. poor lamb.

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: March 14, 2006 )

Home Again
Brings me back to my home on the wide-open prairies! You should set this to music, like a children's song.

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: March 14, 2006 )

Hilarious!!
That is the funniest thing I have heard in awhile, Fairplay. Good one! Loved the poem, Ivor! You and the Dirty Old Man should work together - I won't ask about inspiration.
Viper, this might work to the tune of Mary had a little lamb but I'm not a music student - I'll try the local kindergarten and see.

( Posted by: witchy woman [Member] On: March 15, 2006 )

Lamb Chop
'I won't ask about inspiration.'

The inspirationb came from ewe,
And of course the old man too.
The Sheep, the goat, the man, the witch,
Would inspire saints to scratch an itch!

Now add a Viper to this game
And Eve's ripe apple seems quite lame.
I fear that with all you five in tow,
Adam himself would have a go.

But getting quickly back to sheep,
The story's true made Eric bleat.
I've seen him oft with chop in hand,
He enjoys mutton...understand?

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: March 15, 2006 )

Mutton chops
You have all passed the initiation - you may all join my coven!! Only the very stttrrrrrannnnge may apply!!

( Posted by: Witchy woman [Member] On: March 15, 2006 )

Strange Indeed!
Cassandra,

If you get a chance to read some of my posts you see how strange I can be!

Have Fun,

Ivor

( Posted by: ivordavies [Member] On: March 15, 2006 )

strange indeed!!!
Oh, I have read some - you qualify!!!

( Posted by: witchy woman [Member] On: March 15, 2006 )

Ba-a-a-ad to the bone

Methinks this makes a most perfect companion piece to my "Baa Baa Ram" lyrics: http://www.lit.org/view/25232
from the sheep's point of view.

I have mutton more to offer.

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: May 24, 2006 )

This is pretty funny,
I want to add to this
it is not that I am
being a bit sheepish,,,

it is just so b-a-a-d
I have mutton to say.

Dar ;)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: May 26, 2006 )

I had a similar experience
I had a similar experience one fine spring afternoon while walking through the all too quiet forest on growing ferns and squishy dead leaves.

A barely adult doe crossed my path and panted, "Thats the last time I'll ever do that for two bucks."

I now silently fade into Shabbos. Good Shabbos to the tribe and a wonderful weekend to all.

( Posted by: Blondie [Member] On: May 26, 2006 )

Witchy Woman- The Ewe Speaks!!!
I see that there is more than one ewe lover around these parts! Hahaha! Fun reading.

( Posted by: unseenwriterx [Member] On: July 31, 2006 )

WitchyWoman's Man
This was so funny! A thouroughbly enjoyable read.

( Posted by: Legs [Member] On: August 2, 2006 )

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