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I Believe in God

By: Dani

A/N Based on people I know and SOME things I go through, only maybe more interesting


Living in the South was no big deal for me at the age of fifteen. I doubt I'd like it in the North as I've actually traveled from Louisiana to Washington visiting Grandma Judy. I wanted to see different places and do more as I found the life I was leading extremely dull and unsatisfying. I was and still am Stephanie Angel, aka Stevee. I attend Liberty High in Louisiana. It was a small school in a small town. I wasn't anything to be proud of socially or privately. At school I made average grades and I didn't get involved with more school than I had to until Mother suggest I start on the school paper. My brother Simon was the academic one in our family, my thirteen year old brother. A pain in my ass, but he got in less trouble for grades than I did with my dad expecting everything absolutely perfect, which still doesn't help me as I shall always be extremely unorganized. I'm not athletic in the slightest, as I hate sports, and my sister Sam (Samantha) Angel age six is more into sports than I am. She makes up for both me and my brother by getting into soft ball, basketball, soccer, football, and other things my parents were always pleased with. I was the reserved writer who excelled in English and barely survived in Algebra 2 who loved listening to loud rock music with my bedroom door locked and computer on at all times. I was strange. I've always admitted it and that is something I'm proud of. I enjoy being different at the cost of everyone else's views of me. People have told me that if only I tried harder and read Cosmo I'd be material for popularity and if I fixed my social skills. I did look better than most of the freaks, geeks, nerds, and dorks though I opted for my rectangular glasses over colored contacts. I'm taller than my friends, but they're just short. My hair is wavy and a blondish brown color and my eyes are a dark green that my artistic friends describe as jades. I only wear eye make up and only the dark stuff. I wear pants in summer and black combat boots in winter. Sometimes I put an effort into looking a certain way, just to see them give me that superior look and glare. It satisfies me. It proves I've gotten to them and that they really are superficial people who shop at Wal-Mart and go hunting and fishing, not my greatest hobbies. Remember, I live in the South.

I suppose my story starts October my sophomore year at Liberty High. The third year I've lived in Louisiana and the third anniversary since I met the best friends I ever had, short and plain looking twins named Max (Maxine) and Hallie LaBlanc. Max was my suicidal first friend and youngest twin. She sings and is amazing and dyed her lightening brown hair a fiery red color that was perfect with her piercing blue eyes. Hallie is the artist, Miss Draw-It herself and eldest, bossy twin who has probably never in her life cut her hair and was working on her self-esteem. Around me she always seemed fine, around others she was quiet and easily gave in. She had no problems begging me for money and Skittles, by the way. I try to help them not be "Doormats" as Rhys, another friend, nicknamed them, Re-christened them. They got better, and I was always glad to help. I was closer to them than anyone else, even my own family. It was shocking to find out we weren't related as the popular term for everything around Liberty was "cousin."

Anyway, the reason I'm starting in October is because that was the month I decided to change my life. It was highly important and something I intended to do. Not like I intended to clean the kitchen but forgot to remember. This was a goal I had. I'd been raised lazy, and sloth is one of the seven deadly sins. Daddy comes home from work at times and when he does he's glued to the couch, watching TV, making everyone else do stuff so he won't have to get up. Sometimes I want to yell at him to clean the stupid house when he fusses at me for it. I admire Mother who cleans, and works, and takes care of three children, and watches over the bulldog Smith who I despise. I love her, sometimes I question my feelings for daddy. He's a stranger to me, he always was. I wanted so desperately to be different because I felt like a prisoner. I was always in the house. It was that or go visit maw-maw Bonnie (real; name is Bernadette) and paw-paw (Mr. Boring-Fisher himself), and I was never a fan of my family. They were all the same. I was odd. I needed, needed not wanted, to become more committed to my novels, my dream of becoming an author. I wanted to do something, I wanted to travel, I wanted to DO! And then I wanted to be better. A better person. A better Christian. That was where it started. For the first time in a long time I prayed. And I felt something. I felt different. And then I was convinced to go searching for my red Bible. I started from the beginning. My prayer was interrupted two times. First by Daddy, then by Mother. Finally, I settled in bed, I closed my eyes and as foreign as it felt to me I prayed. And I felt closer to something. I knew I could do it. I, Stevee Angel, might actually be able to do something. It was exciting.

It was also a challenge I had to face. The biggest challenge by far my adolescent self had ever faced. Yet I was not alone.


Dani Luvs Ya Not

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The following comments are for "I Believe in God"
by EraIgnus

You seem to have a great grasp on the quietly rebelleous writer discription. Have you been stalking me? Well any way. I am intrigued.

( Posted by: crackpotpoet [Member] On: May 9, 2006 )

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