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9

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9Viper9

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things left unsaid shuffle off with the dead in this land of the one eyed king.
where nowhere is everywhere with the sounds of the lost and thier shrieking.
And the blind are confused by the light from the tomb that comes shining thru at night.
Yet where is our tale to lead to now with this sense of all not right.

push past to the crowd surrounding the door that is open yet none may pass.
watch as they all stand struck with the truth that there is more here at last.
and the hope that shines newly wrought in thier eyes is a tale not often told.
yet we all learn of some of the song of one where all is, and will unfold.

And in places few where none are now hide the higher truths that be.
In the end my friend who will find these things is a sight no one may see.
Will the land still survive when the blind may thrive and the mad forever free,
lay waste to the things that we hold to our hearts when all should know and see.

it is not my tale but a curious way to describe what is and what may,
bring about some change and reshape our world or ruin our every day.
in this land of the mad and the crazed and insane where lunacy runs like a stream.
and we all try to still those dark thoughts in our heads but it may help to set them free.


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Comments

The following comments are for "All is well."
by wally 5

Observations
To me this reads like the observations of a being able to stand back from the world and take it all in at once. It's a judgment passed and a prophecy offered.

The only thing I'd change is the last line of the second stanza (difficult to understand).

Cheers

( Posted by: Viper9 [Member] On: February 14, 2006 )

All is well
I also read your Biography too, learning you did have an alias before, but I think that was fine, there are lots who do. I've read some comments of your older work and I honestly thought I had commented but I didn't, I know I have read yours.

You will be critiqued for punctuation but not by me. I do see it is your own personal choice and your way of writing. I know you are intellegent enough for proper grammar, when you will need it.

I like your style and agree with Viper for his ratings in your posts as 9's. This is my favorite piece of your recent submissions so it's why I am commenting on this one.

You are quite interesting and intellegent. Comes across in your writing.

I did have trouble with last line of the 2nd stanza as well. I DO like this very much, verily.
Tad verbose but it reads nicely.

Thanks for bringing my attention back.

Darlene

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: February 16, 2006 )





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