Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search

Average Rating

(1 votes)

RatingRated by

You must login to vote

When I was just a young girl,
Living in my home town,
There was no place in the world
I'd rather be.
But then one day, you went away;
You left behind your daddy's farm,
To take up arms
In the fight for your country.

And I stayed home in Arkansas,
Doing my homework by the phone.
And every day I ran to check
The mailbox by the road.
And I grew up in Arkansas,
Praying for your safe return,
Wishing by the moon
That soon you'd come back home.

When I was just a young girl,
I put you on a pedestal,
And I guess you always knew
Of my sweet crush on you.
But you'd always smile, and stay awhile,
You laughed at the jokes I told.
You'd put your coat around me,
And walk me home when it turned cold.

[repeat Chorus]

I ran into your daddy
Just a few weeks ago,
He told me you were living now
In dowtown San Diego.
He said you'd always yearned for the city life,
That you had a good job and a pretty wife.
And the years I've waited just dissipated
And I realised something I've always known,
You were never coming home.

[repeat Chorus]


The following comments are for "when I was just a young girl"
by appleblossom

I wish I could hear what type of song you envision this as; it would be nice to see how you envisioned it. I think that it is a song with a gentle but constantly moving energy, with sad tones in the last verse. The one thing that I can think of that might make this better is if you prepared the listener for the fact that he never came home. Maybe a mention of this fear placed in the chorus would suffice, especially if it were referenced with the fact that he was fighting over seas. Then the irony of his reason for not coming home from the war would be more fully appreciated, and the sting of the singer's loss felt all the more by the audience. Good work though; I'd love to here it in song!

( Posted by: The Recycled Avatar [Member] On: October 25, 2002 )

Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.