Lit.Org - a community for readers and writers Advanced Search
 




Average Rating
5.33

(3 votes)


RatingRated by
6chapter1
2macbeth
8Siah

You must login to vote


Nipples probe bouncy cream.
Wet, frantic pink, leathers bite.
Lust sees a hard night.


------





Comments

The following comments are for "Haiku 46"
by castanedalupe

Bouncy??
I'll take your word for it on the leather and lust... but does cream really bounce? It never has in my hands. You play these games with rubberised dairy products? The mind, (like the nipples?) boggles...

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: January 24, 2006 )

windchime, mobiusoul
Thanxxxoooxxxooo Lucie and Mobius. I'm not very good, huh? I'm new at this. My brother pushed me into posting. I guess I wasn't ready for my coming-out just yet.

Cream does give the illusion of bouncing when you press it lightly in a certain way. Maybe I'm the only one whose ever noticed that? Maybe I'm just crazy. Back to the old writing board.

( Posted by: castanedalupe [Member] On: January 25, 2006 )

Pshaaw!
Posting here is a great way of getting the confidence to keep writing, and thus to keep improving. I say keep it up. Nobody here will try to crush you... but we will probably tease, a little, if you keep on posting these suggestive haiku...

( Posted by: MobiusSoul [Member] On: January 25, 2006 )

Whew, well I found something
interesting in this.

I can't even remember what it is called, something with leathers and masters/mistresses.

LOL.

Yea, and that creamy breasts do bounce, not saying the rest of the x-rated I saw. Dang I am dirty minded for an Ol'lady.

YES, stick around with us. Maybe you can teach us a few good things!!!

Welcome to Lit.

Darlene ;)

( Posted by: Dareva [Member] On: January 25, 2006 )

TC- Welcome to LIt
TC- Thomas Stearns (T.S.) Elliot said: "Genuine poetry can communicate before it is understood."

I refer to my 5/7/5, 3/5/3 variations as being "senryupsyched." I find your poem to be of that nature.

Keep writing...and living...

Bobby7L

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: February 8, 2006 )

?!?!
I've read this several times and feel like I found an adult magazine. What is going on in this piece? Confidence is built through experience. It took me a long time to let anyone, other than myself read anything I wrote.

( Posted by: MsTink [Member] On: February 8, 2006 )

DAMN HOT! Do you have a little black dress and a big purple....?
I'm not sure of your intentions, but with Batgirl... or better yet- Catwoman, I'm UP for nipples and cream, wet pink extremes, leather's bite hard all night.

My pants have grown tight.

Now I must visit a different site!

( Posted by: drsoos [Member] On: June 27, 2006 )

wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
you summed it up in a few little words! this is a HOT poem, it leads you there and you want to go, I really like it, I'll be looking for you...

in order to read and comment that is, damn good write!

( Posted by: lmj [Member] On: June 27, 2006 )

Haiku 46
I followed Drsoos here to see what drives his DAMN HOT reactive libido, and Wow! This is great! Short in words but big in suggestive. You've got the soft/porn/erotica talent touch. Why the title Haiku 46?

( Posted by: Legs [Member] On: June 27, 2006 )

46
I see original date, and renewed view. Glad I caught this.
Original. Fun. Funny. True. I suppose the cream is a bit of natural to add to true haiku. Whipped bounces. Liquid runs.

Acceptance is the key. Always.

enjoyed-
Elizabeth

( Posted by: emaks [Member] On: June 27, 2006 )

Haiku 46, somewhat delayed reaction
Not sure how I missed this when it made its debut. Probing nipples and bouncy cream I'll have to take your word for, shy retiring type that I am *insert knowing wink/ butter-wouldn't-melt smile here* but the last line "lust sees a hard night" after all the fun and excitement that comes before it is fantastic. Actually, if that was the whole poem it'd be enough for me. It's suggestive of so much world-weary sexuality, like a tart-with-a-heart chain-smoking in a cheap motel... or, that could just be me, I was dropped on my head as a child and I've not been right since. Either way, I liked it. Cheers,

Shannon.

( Posted by: AuldMiseryGuts [Member] On: July 17, 2006 )

brillant
i just love how haikus come together. but your last line was incredibly jaw dropping and so... touching

( Posted by: fcukedupboi [Member] On: October 26, 2006 )





Add Your Comment

You Must be a member to post comments and ratings. If you are NOT already a member, signup now it only takes a few seconds!

All Fields are required

Commenting Guidelines:
  • All comments must be about the writing. Non-related comments will be deleted.
  • Flaming, derogatory or messages attacking other members well be deleted.
  • Adult/Sexual comments or messages will be deleted.
  • All subjects MUST be PG. No cursing in subjects.
  • All comments must follow the sites posting guidelines.
The purpose of commenting on Lit.Org is to help writers improve their writing. Please post constructive feedback to help the author improve their work.


Username:
Password:
Subject:
Comment:





Login:
Password: