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“I realize that our latest product offering is controversial, but consider that ten percent of our profits will be donated to alleviate collateral damage to Iranians from the bombing of suspected nuclear sites.”- Will Gayettes, addressing MacroHard shareholders’ meeting, 201? A.D.

“Laptop Dancer”- Peripheral; A virtual hand, available in feminine or masculine, which gyrates and occasionally gropes upon the lap of the user with an online connection to a paid service, usually in conjunction with a synchronized video image. An optional left hand is coming soon. Programs are reputedly available to provide “massage to completion”, with graphic video imaging.

Gayettes denied any involvement with these more lurid arrangements.

“Our Laptop Dancer is merely a tease, just like a real lap dancer- Well, most of them”, stated Gayettes

Gayettes would neither confirm nor deny rumors of an upcoming ad campaign featuring a computer-reanimated George Burns proclaiming, “Oh, God! That’s great hand!”

A cottage industry of ‘hand hackers’ has already arisen, providing a variety of physical and software modifications to suit the varied tastes of ‘palm pilots’- users of the Laptop Dancer.

Gayettes warned against the use of non-genuine software or hardware, stating, “We’re MacroHard. We’ve got you by the- That is, you’re in good hand”.

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"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesman and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do."

- Ralph 'Where's Waldo' Emerson

"I don't know half of you half as well as I should like. And I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve."
- Bilbo Baggins

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The following comments are for "Laptop Dancer"
by drsoos

soos/ On Happy Endings
Before heading out into traffic, was good to smile..

"We've got you by..."....Indeed.


( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 18, 2006 )

"I'm your laptop dancer/.
..dancer for..."...

Soos- Returned to enjoy again, after doing battle out in additional version of perceived reality...Expected fresh verses...Guess it's up to you..


"Do what ya do/ Make it work for you.." -Juelz Santana

( Posted by: Bobby7L [Member] On: January 18, 2006 )

hand tease
sick! cool.

( Posted by: ZonerZone [Member] On: January 22, 2006 )

the post!
this was funny, great job.

( Posted by: SingChi [Member] On: January 25, 2006 )

Just good to laugh
Always nice to browse and find a light laugh coming out of something that you would not see elsewhere, there's beauty in this.

( Posted by: carnifex [Member] On: January 27, 2006 )

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